Not adventurous enough. A big ol’ scaredy-cat.
That was always the impression people had of me and, to be fair, it was with good reason.
Risk? Adrenaline? The mildest flicker of excitement? Not for this chap.
But there comes a time in a man’s life (cue the dramatic music) when he must look into the mirror (cue even more dramatic music) and decide if he wants to stay at his office desk forever and avoid anything remotely likely to cause fear or thrill.
It is time for that man to start saying "yes" to things outside his comfort zone.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, squeezing this body into bright orange overalls, getting jammed into the passenger seat of an ageing Ford Escort and being taken through gravel corners at 150kmh is very, very much outside that zone.
I am in good hands, though.
My companion for the rally experience on Flagstaff-Whare Flat Rd is no ordinary driver.
Mikko Hirvonen, one of the sport’s great "Flying Finns", is a 15-time World Rally Championship round winner, and the sort of quietly spoken, calmly efficient car-handler who puts even lily-livered desk jockeys at ease.
It is remarkable enough that Hirvonen has finally made it to compete in the classic section of the Otago Rally after false starts due to schedule conflicts then Covid; it is even more remarkable what the man can do behind a wheel.
The first few seconds of the drive, after clambering into the right-hand bucket seat and accidentally turning on the wipers with a button at my feet, are almost pleasantly uneventful as we merely drive straight and I have time to think, "oh, so this is it".
What follows are the most intense two minutes of my life.
He just ... doesn’t ... slow down.
Hirvonen’s hands appear to move in slow motion on the wheel, like a master pianist stroking the keys, and at no point does it seem like he is in the slightest doubt about his next move.
My mind is wiped free of any fear as there just isn’t time to get scared.
It is interesting, though, that my heart is racing and my breath is slightly short five minutes after clambering out of the car.
"Did you have fun," Hirvonen asks.
Yes, I reply. And tell him it was nice to finally get a taste of proper motorsport.
"And I wasn’t really pushing it. I always take it easy when I have someone else in the car."
That was taking it easy? Yikes.
It was certainly adventurous enough for me.
