So, the Olympic Games have begun again.
Gone are the days when you could have watched the world's finest athletes compete in tug-of-war, obstacle course, the diving plunge or live pigeon shooting.
Now, it's just the same old same old: running, hockey, weightlifting, boxing, cycling.
It's not as if we live in Britain and can pop down to the local snail racing, toe wrestling, haggis hurling, bog snorkelling or pea shooting championships.
What else to do but sit on the couch for two weeks and wait for normality to return?Well actually, you could try . . .
The Volcanoes Challenge
Tomorrow, 8am, One Tree Hill Domain, Auckland.
This might be a difficult race to watch but it's billed as fun and energetic.
Competitors have until midnight to run up all of Auckland's volcanoes, following any route they please.
Take a map.
Jelly wrestling
Thursday, August 14, 8pm, Albert Town Tavern.
Last year's winner, Treble Cone car park attendant Melanie Henderson, is not in Wanaka to defend her title this year.
Albert Town Tavern manager Wendy Thompson says Treble Cone has promised to send another wrestler in her stead.
So far, 13 contestants (all female because Thompson doesn't want rough men wrecking her conference centre) have thrown their names in the ring, including "The Albernater" (aka barmaid Trudy Matthews) who didn't do very well last year and will perform to "Another One Bites The Dust" this time.
The competition attracted 18 entrants and 200 spectators last year and Albert Town locals are keenly looking forward to a bigger and better contest this year.
Tough Guy and Girl Challenge
Saturday, August 23, 11am, Rotorua
This is an outstanding race for endurance athletes who like to get down and dirty.
Anyone 14 or older can enter this muddy trail run through swamps, which also includes some rope climbing and crawling under barbed wire.
University Snow Games
August 23-29 at Wanaka.
Every year, hundreds of tertiary students descend on Wanaka for the University Snow Games.
By day, competitors race each other on skis and snowboards at Cardrona.
By night, they party.
On August 25, they elect their King and Queen, and on August 26 they tackle all the hard questions at a quiz night.
Wanaka indoor bowls final
Wednesday, August 27, 7pm, Wanaka Bowling Club This sounds ho-hum but we've been advised it will be a nail-biter, with key player Matthew Haggart postponing holiday and travel plans so he can be there.
Eight teams are competing for the cup (top four teams) or plate (second four teams).
Rumour has it that novice nippers, the ODT Bowl Breakers (average age 30), fancy their cup chances against senior Rotarians while the Upper Clutha Transport team is a bit of a dark horse.
