The breakup was a surprise to Shaun Matthew Cavanagh, his counsel Alan de Jager said, not that that excused the torrent of rage that subsequently flowed from the 42-year-old.
Cavanagh appeared in the Dunedin District Court yesterday after pleading guilty to a charge of threatening to kill.
Among the messages he sent on September 14 last year were two that were overtly threatening, rather than only abusive, the court heard.
"I’ll get your car and f... burn you in it," one said.
Later, Cavanagh added, "f... you watch your f... back I’m coming for you."
Mr de Jager said the defendant had battled substance addiction and was also receiving treatment for a "diagnosed condition".
A recent test proved the man was now drug free, he said.
While Judge David Robinson acknowledged that was a positive step, a report compiled by Probation on Cavanagh in February cast him in a less favourable light.
The defendant openly admitted breaching his bail by contacting the victim by cellphone and he showed an unwillingness to do a rehabilitative programme.
He had done Stopping Violence three times and it had not worked, he said.
The report writer said Cavanagh appeared to believe his offending should have no consequences and that any sentences imposed simply stopped him "moving forward" with his life.
If he had spoken the threats to his ex-girlfriend rather than written them he would not have ended up in court, the defendant said.
Four months later, an updated report reflected a different attitude.
"I view that with a healthy degree of scepticism," Judge David Robinson said.
"Often when people appear for sentencing they say what they think the judge wants to hear."
In the more recent interview, Cavanagh said he wanted to be a good father and to take responsibility for making the threats.
"I hope for your sake it’s not window dressing," the judge said.
Cavanagh responded from the dock, "I don’t sugar-coat, sir."
The good news was that, after two years unemployed, the defendant had now found work as a driver - it was that, Judge Robinson said, that saved him from a sentence of home detention.
He imposed six months’ community detention and nine months’ supervision, and barred Cavanagh from contact with the victim during that time.
