After an hour's grilling by police, Jason Karl Blackler was left in an empty room and apologised more than 20 times to his dead friend.
The jury in the manslaughter trial before the High Court at Dunedin heard from the 48-year-old defendant for the first time since he pleaded not guilty, when his police interview was played yesterday.
Detective David Checketts questioned Blackler over the death of his flatmate Alan James Fahey (66) for more than an hour before he left the room to get coffee and give the suspect a break.
Once he walked out, the defendant broke down in tears.
"I'm so sorry, Alan, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Oh my God,'' he said.
Blackler sobbed at least 20 more apologies before the officer returned with the drinks.
"What have I done? I wish I could f***ing tell you,'' the defendant said to the empty room.
When Det Checketts returned, Blackler maintained he did not remember striking Mr Fahey or seeing his bloodied body before he left the Brockville Rd house.
"I'm not denying that I hit Alan but I don't remember hitting him, if that makes any f***ing sense,'' he said.
Blackler told police about spending the day drinking with the victim who was known as "God'' (short for "Grumpy Old Decorator'').
The defendant said he was pressured into consuming Jagermeister when he usually drank only beer.
"I don't drink spirits because I think it brings spirits out in you,'' he said.
Blackler remembered arguing with Mr Fahey over sexually inappropriate comments made about his terminally-ill sister.
"And then?'' Det Checketts asked.
"I don't remember,'' Blackler said.
"Do you remember punching him?''
"No.''
Blackler put it down to a possible rage-induced blackout.
Lewd discussion about his dying sister could have been a trigger, he admitted.
Once the defendant was consumed by rage, he said there was no talking him out of it and he struck out.
"What does any wild animal do?'' Blackler said. "Lash out at the first thing contactable.''
He regularly wept through the interview and said Mr Fahey was the father he never had.
While Blackler accepted he probably struck the victim, it "definitely wasn't personal''.
"If I was going to ghost somebody it definitely wouldn't have been my f***ing dad,'' he said.
Despite what the defendant told police, he allegedly made further disclosures to a Corrections officer when he was at prison the following day.
Mark Duncan spoke to Blackler when he was detoxing in the medical centre.
"He kept telling me he beat him to death ... that he had blacked out and that he remembers standing over him when he was dead,'' the witness told the jury.
"He was looking at his hands when he said he had beaten him to death.''
The court also heard from Brockville Rd resident Janeen Beattie, who lived across the road from the house where Mr Fahey was found dead.
She said she sat on her front doorstep for a cigarette about 9.30pm on October 25, 2016.
"It was a really quiet night and I heard a horrible noise like yells, someone in pain across the road, and I thought to myself `what ... was that?''' Ms Beattie said.
She told the court she recognised the voice as Mr Fahey's.
Under cross-examination from defence counsel Anne Stevens, the witness said she did not go and check on her neighbour, nor did she tell police the following day.
The defence will call a medical professional to give evidence today before each side makes their closing addresses to the jury.
