Before you bludgeon me with a discarded election hoarding, bear with me.
Election night has it all — drama, anticipation, breathless TV coverage, big personalities. It’s a bit like The Hunger Games, without the fights to the death (although a few careers could find themselves on life support).
That’s before you get to the small matter of who actually runs the country.
So, with all that in mind, we here at the Otago Daily Times want to help you impress your guests with the ultimate election-night party guide.
The food
Election night can drag on, so you need to keep your strength up.
In terms of drinks, Mull(er)ed wine could help stave off the spring chill.
Or you can follow First Bloke Clarke Gayford’s lead from election night 2017 and host a good old-fashioned sausage sizzle.
The dress code
This one’s easy — you can dress in the colour of the party you support, or as your favourite politician. Feel like showing our electoral system a bit of love? Don all orange and go as the Electoral Commission’s orange voting guy. If you want extra points, plaster yourself in the hundreds of stickers, flyers and badges you’ve probably been handed throughout the campaign. Recycling is important, people.
The music
Everyone knows music selection at a party is key. One dud tune too many and your guests will be waka jumping to the neighbour’s shindig.
There are a few ways you can go with this to stick with the theme and drown out the chatter of TV pundits at the same time.
If you’re feeling politically neutral, a selection of Kiwi classics will never go amiss.
You can also look for songs with election-linked words in the titles: Beyonce’s Love on Top, Hue and Cry’s Labour of Love, Lana del Rey’s National Anthem, Lorde’s Green Light, etc.
Or just go full patriot and blast God Defend New Zealand on repeat. Let’s not beat around the bush, it’s a jam.
Whatever the playlist, just make sure there’s nothing Eminem-esque on there, even if it might be ‘‘pretty legal’’.
It’s easy to jazz up classic games with an election-night twist. Pin the Rosette on the Politician is likely to be a crowd pleaser, especially after a few Mullered wines. You could dust off the Scrabble board and introduce a new rule of political words only. Or if you’ve got a decent-sized backyard, split into teams for a friendly game of political football.
If you’re planning to be glued to the election night coverage, political Bingo could be a winner. Words could include:
Nine years of neglect
KiwiBuild
Strong team
Team of five million
Shambles
Referendum
Slush fund
Coalition
Backing our farmers.
