The premise of Werner Holzwarth's 2001 children's book, The story of the little mole who knew it was none of his business, is simple enough: when a mole emerges from the ground and is struck on the head by some droppings, he attempts to find the creature responsible.
Helped by some flies, who dob in the culprit (alimentary, my dear Watson?), the mole exacts revenge, pooing on poor old pooch.
Cue giggles of glee from those little people to whom the words are being read. For when it comes to childish entertainment, excrement is, apparently, excellent. Want proof? Check out the results of the 2003 NZ Post Book Awards in which Dawn McMillan walked away with the Children's Choice Award for Why do dogs sniff bottoms?
But back to mole: having done the deed, he heads home, suggesting an out-of-sight, out-of-mind attitude more akin to humans than hole-dwellers.
Yet the problems of poo are not generally so easily dealt with.
At the sharp end, overseas, it contributes to the deaths of two million people a year - three-quarters of them children - through diarrhoea, a disease caused by faecally contaminated food or water. Last year, diarrhoea was the second leading cause of death among children under 5, according to the World Health Organisation.
Closer to home, plans to dump sludge on a Tarras farm have prompted grimaces - and a few grins; nearby, residents of popular tourist spots such as Lakes Hawea and Wanaka have expressed outrage over freedom campers whose toilet habits involve squatting near bush or beach; staff and patients at Dunedin Hospital have been affected by significant outbreaks of norovirus at least twice in the past two years; lastly, the Dunedin City Council has included in a proposed bylaw a clause requiring landowners to pick up animal droppings then store or bury them.
There seems to be any amount of evidence that we have yet to come to grips with the issues thrown up by, er, droppings.
Let's start with our own poo. Rose George, author of the 2008 book The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters, describes human waste as "a highly efficient weapon of mass destruction".
"A gram of faeces can contain 10 million viruses, one million bacteria, 1000 parasite cysts and 100 worm eggs" says George, who points out that 2.6 billion people have no access to a latrine, toilet bucket or box. Four out of every 10 human beings "live in situations where they are surrounded by human excrement".
And where there is poor sanitation, there is sickness. According to George, faeces can carry 50 communicable diseases, including cholera, hepatitis, and schistosomiasis.
"Human excrement gets tramped into living environments on people's feet and carried in on fingers. It finds its way into food and drink, with desperate consequences."
According to various studies, drains, sewers and toilets have increased by 20 years the average lifespan of a person living in the West. Readers of the British Medical Journal voted sanitation as the most important medical advance since 1840 (over antibiotics and vaccines).
Gandhi once stated sanitation was more important than independence. It was only two years ago that the United Nations marked the International Year of Sanitation, while the World Toilet Organisation continues to work towards improving toilet and sanitation conditions worldwide.
Meanwhile, back in Godzone, sludge (the solids that remain after human sewage has been treated, otherwise known as biosolids), might end up on a Tarras property if the Queenstown Lakes District Council gets its way.
Seeking an outcome environmentalists might describe as "closing the circle", the QLDC has lodged a 170-page consent application to store and discharge up to 2000cu m of sludge on a 3500ha Ardgour Rd property each year.
Consent is being sought until at least 2045, by which time a predicted 165 tonnes of sludge would have to be discharged from the Wanaka plant each month.
At present about 70 tonnes of treated sewage sludge from the plant is discharged to the Victoria Flats landfill each month. In exchange for fertiliser being delivered to the property (at the QLDC's cost), the council would avoid having to pay dumping fees of $229 per tonne.
Property owner Bruce Jolly has told the Otago Daily Times the sludge will be applied to paddocks during August or September each year, six months after which stock will be allowed to graze on that land. Neighbours have raised concerns over potential adverse effects of the sludge storage, questioning whether there would be run-off issues or any impact on land values.
The QLDC proposal is being closely watched by the Central Otago District Council.
At present, the CODC also dumps its sludge at the QLDC-owned Victoria Flats landfill in the Kawarau Gorge. If allowed, the proposal could open avenues to the CODC for the storage and disposal of its own waste.
In its application, the QLDC states discharging sludge to landfill is not considered sustainable, reflecting a key environmental concern surrounding our waste - how best to manage it.
In a 2009 Auckland University of Technology magazine article, Dr Tom Speir, of the Institute of Environmental Science and Research, pointed out New Zealand trailed the world in terms of recycling biosolids.
"Biosolids are packed with nutrients and valuable organic matter, and organic matter is precious," said Dr Speir, who is among a team overseeing the development of the New Zealand Guidelines for Land Application of Biosolids (2003), as well as the Ministry for the Environment's Biostandards Strategy.
Dr Speir's research also includes a study into the risks of biosolids. Because of the structure of our wastewater systems, sewage can comprise elements other than human excrement. Industrial waste, including heavy metals (cadmium, mercury) and organochlorins (dioxins), can end up in the effluent mix, as can (and do) household cleaners and antibiotics.
However, Martin O'Malley, a strategic project manager for the QLDC, stresses there is no heavy industry in Wanaka that would contribute dangerous levels of toxins to the sludge.
"We have done testing on it. We are below the New Zealand Biosolids Guideline levels in regards trace elements - lead, mercury, zinc, that sort of stuff."
Significantly, though, the pathogen levels within the sludge are 650 times more than the biosolids guideline.
"The reason for that is we haven't done any treatment on it," Mr O'Malley explains. "One of the issues we have is cost... We are a small district council. When you try to treat biosolids through heat or digestion there are significant extra costs.
"We have looked at the pathogen levels in this stuff and whether that would adversely affect where we are proposing to put it. Our initial belief was that would not be the case.
"We applied to the Otago Regional Council for three consents and they came back and felt the same ... at the end of the day, they believed our proposal was acceptable in terms of its effects on the environment and health effects around that."
In its decision, the ORC states: "Pathogenic organisms present in the sludge do not typically survive in the soil environment. Pathogens are not expected to have an effect on groundwater quality in the area ... the effect of pathogens on soil and plants will be insignificant".
Miller's Flat author Kyle Mewburn has yet to write a children's book about poo, but he's not short of a few words on the subject.
"Pooing is part of life, so deal with it," says Mewburn who, prompted by environmental concerns, upgraded from a long-drop to a composting toilet after building his house in the 1990s.
"I believe we need to take individual responsibility for dealing with our waste as much as possible. Too many people are willing to create waste, but unwilling to even think about it. They just want to push a button and someone else deals with it.
"It's also a ridiculous waste of resources. Instead of using our valuable excrement to fertilise the soil and/or generate energy, we turn it into waste, which has to be dealt with at huge cost and no benefit. With more water issues looming, composting toilets will have to be used more widely. We can't afford to waste seven litres of water or so every time we poo or pee."
The science behind a composting toilet is relatively simple: poo lands on soil and the bacteria in the soil break it down. Keep the mixture dry, and it will "hardly smell", Mewburn says.
"It's only when you add water that poo creates anaerobic bacteria that pong."
As for eating habits, he and wife Marion don't eat differently from most, although they live largely off their own garden and only eat meat a couple of times a week.
"The only thing you have to watch out for, supposedly, is when you're taking antibiotics, because that can supposedly kill soil bacteria," Mewburn explains.
"But, honestly, we have never noticed any difference."
Having experimented with earlier models elsewhere, Mewburn realised the benefits of separating urine and faeces ("it came out a lot dryer/friable"); likewise, he advises not mixing kitchen scraps.
"We throw a handful of peat moss down every time we poo. It seems to do the job and makes a nice earthy smell. Every three months or so, I rake down the fresh poo. Then I leave it in the bottom for another three months or so, or until it has decomposed. After the first time, it becomes a cycle: I empty the poo at the bottom, which has, by then, been decomposing for six months; rake down the fresh poo; then start again.
"Once I've emptied the compost, I also store it in a barrel for another three months or so until I need it. It gets rid of those last stubborn clumps, so you end up with nice, friable stuff that looks like peat moss and - possibly more importantly - relieves all those residual worries some people might have about dealing with their own poo."
Mewburn says composting one's own poo holds no more health hazards than dealing with any store-bought composts.
"The advantage is you can always tell where you've thrown your compost, because tomato plants sprout."
Attracting such responses as "crazy" and "ridiculous", the Dunedin City Council's recent proposal, The Keeping of Animals (Excluding Dogs) and Poultry Bylaw 2010, may have prompted a few exclamations among some landowners, but it could - intentionally or otherwise - aid the crusade for composting.
Governing most animals kept on residential and rural residential properties, but excluding commercial or lifestyle farms, the proposed bylaw includes a clause requiring property owners to collect droppings from animals. The faeces would then either have to be stored in a fly-proof container and disposed of, or buried under at least 50mm of soil.
But why waste such waste? According to Maureen Howard, of the DCC's Sustainable Living programme, there are great benefits in using animal manure on a garden although, she cautions, not all poo is created equal.
"They do have different qualities. Cows digest their food more thoroughly so you will have fewer weed seeds than in, say, horse manure. But the advantage of horse manure is that it is higher in organic matter and is nicer to work with; it doesn't smell so much.
"People love horse manure but, ideally, you would compost your horse manure to avoid introducing a lot of weeds into your vegetable patch.
"There have been some studies done on the different nutrient content of livestock. At domestic level, it doesn't matter so much. It really depends what the manure has been mixed with - whether it is straw or sawdust or so forth."
Ms Howard says directly comparing different manures is difficult but, in general, hen manure has a higher nitrogen content than horse manure, and horse manure contains more nitrogen than cowpats.
However, be careful: apply highly nitrogenous manure straight on to a garden and you risk burning the very plants you want to grow. As a general rule, the higher the nitrogen content, the longer you need to compost.
Dog-lovers beware. Your pooch's poo contains pathogens, largely a result of a carnivorous diet. Likewise cats.
"In terms of transmittable diseases, there is an increased risk," Ms Howard says. "That's why it is not encouraged to put dog poo in with your vegetables.
"Dog poo can be composted and dug into the soil so long as you have fairly well-draining soil. If you had a compacted clay base, it might not be so practical. But you can dig a hole and bury the waste at subsoil level [about 15cm deep]. Definitely, you don't want dog poo running off with the next rain or people touching it.
"It is about closing that loop. It's about getting people away from putting things in rubbish bags that are going to end up producing methane and leachate in landfills. Anything organic in a landfill will break down anaerobically and we'll end up with a problem.
"Ideally, if the council was composting dog poo, that would be wonderful. But that requires a lot of expense and you have to collect a lot of it, so that's not really practical for a small city like Dunedin. The council does sell biodegradable bags. Although they are going into the landfill, the bags containing this waste will eventually break down."
We can also improve cowpats.
Andrea Murphy, a ruminant nutritionist based in Alexandra but with clients as far away as Beijing, puts it simply: "What goes in must come out. The nutrients in cow manure are directly affected by the nutrients the cow consumes.
"For example, if there is too much protein going into a ration, there will be too much nitrogen coming out. That goes for all nutrients, including minerals such as phosphorous. Too much nitrogen in manure has a significant impact on the environment."
Ms Murphy says for some farmers the challenge arises in the spring when lush pasture contains too much protein, resulting in a sick animal, "with squirty poo". However, get the nutritional mix right and you get a healthier animal, one with better reproduction rates and a far higher milk yield.
"If you looked at this purely from a nutrition perspective, having one cow producing 10,000 litres is way better than two cows producing 8000 litres between them. A, you've got more milk; B, you've got less manure - though the healthier cow will produce more manure than the others, it will not be as much as two cows."
And that is something for which a mole might be thankful.
