Mother's Day will spark a million memories of countless kindnesses. Shane Gilchrist recalls a few, with a little help from some friends.
Not unlike the night-time lights that would diffract and distort through the car windows as the folks closed the distance from the inner-city Auckland party back to Fibrolite-ville, memories, too, have a tendency to shimmer and shift.
Peer through the resonances of time and (don't ask why) thoughts of Mum often conjure forth images of macramé pot-plant holders.
A homespun stalactite common to some '70s lounges and regarded as somewhat chic in Manurewa at the time, they'd dangle in the humid fug, vying for attention with the casually placed mirror painting and the nail and silk artworks donated by an auntie.
With backs to a sofa that once accommodated the fate of the family cat, a demise confirmed by way of an increasingly putrescent smell, Mum would splay King, Joker and their like across the carpet and teach me games. Here, in this humble lounge, she was Queen ...
My Mum is the most loving and caring person I know and nothing can pull us apart.
I love that she is always helpful around the house and I will always have gratitude for the hard work she puts into work to get us money.
I love shopping with my mum because she always buys me nice tops. We also like having a hot chocolate at a café or even just playing cards together. We do a lot of baking together for my school lunch. My favourite memory with Mum is when me, Mum and my stepdad all went on a campervan trip around the South Island. That was good fun.
I am looking forward to going to Auckland with her - just her and me.
- Allie Bygate (10), of Dunedin
... Etched like sunburn on pale Pakeha skin are images of Mum, cracker and cheese in hand, relaxing outside an orange tent that, in a feat of then groundbreaking design, boasted poles on the outside; or Mum, cracker and cheese in hand (you get the idea), chuckling in the car while Dad hurled bamboo surfcaster at wave after barren wave.
Three decades past what others might perceive as a joke's due-by date, Mum would still cackle at the memory of a hapless woman exiting the toilets at Cobb and Co with skirt tucked into pantyhose.
Another lesson learnt by example: giggles need not be the sole domain of children ...
What I love most about Mum is that she usually finds time to support me at my football matches and at other sports events. Other times she is there when I come home, with food in the oven and the shower ready to go on. She spends lots of time helping me with my spelling and other homework, too.
When we are on holiday Mum sometimes comes fishing with Dad and I. One day she caught a hammerhead shark, and another day she caught the exact same fish twice within 20 minutes! I don't know what I would do without my Mum. As far as I am concerned, she is the greatest Mum in the world.
- Alex Thomson (11), of Dunedin
... It's the little things, the daily routines, the small gestures that linger.
Mum would often lead her two kids on a 6km circuit from home to our nana's bungalow near South Mall, journeying through South Auckland streets that, in the early 1970s, still offered occasional views of paddocks and livestock as well as a large and foreboding orphanage where, on her suggestion, we once donated our less used toys.
In the early hours of a Saturday, when the stacked weight of that day's New Zealand Herald threatened to slow a paperboy's progress and thus offer an easier target to the Dobermans, Rottweilers and other shadowy breeds lurking on the wrong side of fences, she'd be there, sharing the load and the danger ...
Although my mum is very busy at the moment she always finds time to listen to what I have to say. I often go on walks with my mum and that is the highlight of my day because we get to talk to each other about our day and also because I enjoy her company.
I love my mum so much and I think she is the best mum in the world.
- Rosa Flaherty (10), of Dunedin
... Mum walked a lot. And when she confiscated a bike, a birthday present she deemed too big for me following the umpteenth prang, she was able to bike now and then, too.
No wonder she remained slim, what with all that as well as the weekly "Keep Fit" classes where she and a friend would join other young mothers in star-jumping and skipping the length of a Papakura hall.
She never drove, never held a driver's licence. I still don't know why ...
She bakes me the yummiest cookies and brownies. She tickles my back even when she is tired and I should be going to bed.
She cleans up my mess and is always willing to do things to help me. She gives me big hugs and cuddles when I need them and even when I don't.
She runs around after me and takes me to gymnastics, cubs, more gymnastics, swimming,netball and more gymnastics and doesn't complain (much).
But most of all I love her because she is MY mum.
- Monique Groenendal (10), of Dunedin.
... Mum always seemed to frown on the allocation of a particular day to celebrate parental sacrifice.
"A waste of money," she'd say. On occasion, she'd also mutter something about how "you can choose your friends but not your family".
I used to take that to mean she preferred the former to the latter. The process of decoding sometimes takes years ...
My mum is the best in the world because she always helps me when I'm hurt.
My dad never seems to believe me when I say I've hurt myself but mum always listens.
I remember when we went to England - my mum got up early so she could go for a jog. She's my lucky charm because when she watches us play soccer we always win.
- Joseph Flaherty (9), of Dunedin
... Overseas travel eluded Mum. Not that she admitted to any inclination to see the world. She seemed to prefer aural excursions.
Lifted by the likes of Bowie (a Life On Mars perhaps?), Dylan and Van Morrison, whose songs filtered through an air imbued with the aroma of incense sticks bought from the oh-so-exotic Cook St market, she'd roam, turning down the music on our return home from school or when she wanted the house to appear vacant, i.e. when the Mormons came knocking ...
I love my mum; she cares for me and is always there for me when I need her. She is always onthe sidelines cheering me on with all the different things that I do.
Mother's Day is a day to thank her for what she has done for me. And she does a lot of thingsfor me, so I like to do nice things for her on Mother's Day. I am going to go and pick a brightred rose out of the garden and make a card.
My mum is a helpful person and a caring person. It is nice to have a day to let her know howspecial she is to me.
- Hannah Idour (11), of Dunedin
... Though I'll never be able to confirm it, I suspect it was Mum rather than Dad who bought me a guitar for my 10th birthday and, later, a hockey stick simply because I'd professed an interest in the sport.
Both became windows to worlds of endeavour and reward. It's taken a while to realise that such gifts also bore the ambitions of a young woman who found herself a mother of two by the age of 20 ...
I went with Mum and we had a bike ride and we went with George and Dad on the track.
Mum is having her birthday today.
I love her because she is beautiful.
Me and Mum play games. I like to play with her. I am having fun with her.
- Billy Gilchrist (5), of Alexandra
... There is a photo of Mum and family on her 60th birthday.
Pictured in a lounge corner, sitting in a chair supplied by the hospital, she appears as comfortable as a recent course of chemotherapy would allow. Which is to say, not comfortable at all.
In front of her stands one of three grandchildren present that day. His head is turned towards her, the language of his two-year-old body suggesting the candles on her cake are ready to be blown out.
She lacked the breath to do so. Yet, in that photo, her eyes convey a smile that is for him alone ...
