Browsing in the library’s gardening section, I came across a book called The Half-hour Gardener. It promised that, in just 30 minutes, I could create a herb garden or colourful border.
Obviously, that assumed I already had spent three or four hours preparing the site then a happy and expensive hour or two at a garden centre choosing suitable plants.
Other books in the library suggested an hour a week was enough to create a lovely plot or maintain a garden once it was established.
Who are they kidding?
Having been away in the autumn, I’m still eyebrow-deep in tidying my small section, a chore usually completed ahead of winter. On fine days, that means spending at least an hour a day, not a week, a day on basic things like cutting back and dividing perennials, potting bits of plants I promised to friends and trying to get moss out of the paths without resorting to chemical solutions.
In my previous garden, it used to take me half an hour to mow the lawn and at least another 30 minutes to trim the edges. Going by the book, that was one week’s work in an afternoon.
A couple of months ago, I decided I would time my tasks and see how long they took.
On day one, after scrabbling around to find my good gardening snips, I drifted around deadheading chrysanthemums (30 minutes) to try to keep them flowering longer, then spent a quarter of an hour re-staking and tying (old pantyhose make great ties) a rose desperate to lean over a path and snag any passers-by. After that, I put milk-bottle tops under some potted bulbs, as saucers can leave plants waterlogged, did a quick bit of weeding and that was 65 minutes for the day. Definitely time for a cuppa!
After three days, I discarded the notion of timing what I did: truthfully, it just depressed me.
Those optimistic writers forget about the weather: their writing suggests warm, sunny days all year and no high winds or teeming rain. It reminds me of Richard Burton singing in Camelot: "The rain may never fall till after sundown. By eight, the morning fog must disappear ..." We wish.
Although an allotted period of time each day or week (weather permitting) may work for the well-disciplined gardener, most of us just go with the flow, doing what most needs doing or what we feel like tackling. So forget clock-watching and the quest for perfection; just stop in time to admire the spring bulbs coming through.
That way, gardening remains a pleasure, not a prison.