Nothing disturbs me more than having missed out on something that may have been some sort of 1980s cultural phenomenon.
It's exactly the sort of thing that keeps me awake at night.
Because missing these things can have outcomes.
The outcomes can be the sort of faux pas from which there is no comeback.
It would be like walking down the street with a group of friends, and everyone starts laughing at someone with a mullet.
And you go, like: "What's a mullet?"
And everyone looks at you like you are some sort of total nork.
Like that.
Anyway, just the other day, I was painting the ceiling in the drawing room, something that would have been an easy job, if that fellow had not painted that reproduction of the Mona Lisa up there back in 1952.
We all laughed at the time, but repainting it was the very devil of a job, and I did not get to start watching TV until 11.30pm.
Also, I found a full-sized wax model of Indonesia behind the couch, which took some time to deal with.
But I digress.
There, at precisely 11.30pm on the Box, was a show called Sledge Hammer!
Sledge Hammer! is an American satirical police sitcom produced by New World Television that - I looked this up - ran for two seasons on ABC from 1986 to 1988.
It stars David Rasche as Inspector Sledge Hammer, a caricature of the standard "cop on the edge" character.
Strongly influenced by Clint Eastwood's Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) character, it was written by Al Jean and Mike Reiss, best known for their work on The Simpsons.
And it is funny.
Sledge Hammer is a gun-loving, liberal-hating, overly violent, sexist and extremely insensitive sort of fellow.
He sleeps and showers with his gun, and even talks to it.
He believes in shooting first and asking questions never.
Dealing with a spate of baby kidnappings, he asks the parents the name of their baby, to be told they had not yet decided.
"How about Rob?" he suggests.
Well, it made me laugh.
What is disturbing is I have never heard of Sledge Hammer!
I can only imagine, given the amount of time I have put into watching television over the last 64 years, that it has never been shown in New Zealand.
If it has, and you saw it, for God's sake do not email, I do not care.
Honest.
Rasche has turned up in everything from the very, very good film Burn after Reading to the much less good Ugly Betty.
Sledge Hammer! is on every week night on the Box, and is well worth staying up past your bedtime to watch.
You will have to start tonight, because it is already a few shows into the series.
Enjoy.
