Watching the Royal New Zealand Ballet perform at the Regent Theatre with his mum is Jeremy Beck’s earliest memory of going to the theatre.
Next month he will be standing on the stage about to premiere his own dance piece.
"It’s a real crazy feeling. It’s one of those pinnacle moments."
"The first thing I realised when researching the work is that I didn't want to be dancing alone. So now this work has snowballed into about 22 performers and there's 27 or 28 people on the project all up now. So it's really kind of got out of hand."
At its heart, the work is inspired by the concept of "Saturn Return" — in astrology it is when Saturn, the planet representing structure, responsibility and limitation, returns to the position in the sky it was at a person’s birth, usually about ages 27-30.
"This first passing is the death of your youth or the departure of your youth, however you want to describe it. Or if you want to be more optimistic, you can say it's the arrival of adulthood."
Explained to him by a fellow dancer, the concept hit home, as at the end of his 20s Beck found himself having an "existential crisis", questioning where he had got to, finding after eight years in the dance world he was not sure what direction he was going in.
"I think there's a lot of societal pressures, especially in New Zealand [about] owning property or all of these things when you get to a certain age. There's a little bit of an expectation or something."
And he found having the opportunity to look at his childhood and youth and take learnings from it and then decide what to do with those learnings to be quite cathartic.
"I felt like I wanted to acknowledge it more as the rite of passage that everyone kind of goes through. And I'm not necessarily an avid believer in astrology, probably more sceptical by nature, but I find the actual concept quite poetic."
After a bit of research on the subject he found the general consensus was that people come out stronger on the other side.
"And being very naive I thought what I've been going through is my Saturn Returns. But I was very wrong and it was just the start of it. So my initial going into the work I was very much like, ‘OK, this is a retrospective on what Saturn Return was’."
However, looking back he now knows the whole development of this work was his "Saturn Return" as the concept deepened and changed.
"In some ways this project was the initiation of my Saturn Returns and also I feel like the finalisation of it."
Part of that journey was the impact of Covid-19 on his career. He had landed a nine-month contract in the United Kingdom and was heading to Europe to pursue his career but borders closed and he could not go. Instead he stayed in New Zealand and other doors opened for him as there were more opportunities for local choreographers as a result.
Not wanting to make the work too introspective is one of the reasons he chose to incorporate more people into the work.
"So I thought I'd bring on a team of dancers to come and flesh out the work and populate the space."
The more he thought about the concepts, about growing up and becoming an adult, it became anchored in Dunedin, where he grew up and had his first dance lessons at aged 6 and started classical training aged 12.
"It felt really important that I developed the work there and brought the dancers in to understand the environment. And then through that, I had this wild thought that I'd just invite all of my childhood friends into the work as well."
Initially the idea was his friends, many of whom had gone through their own Saturn Returns, would act as pedestrians as the work is set under a 5.5m-tall lamppost on a street at night, complementing the six trained dancers in the cast.
"In theory you think of things and then when you get in the room and you see actually the vibrancy of everyone, I was like, well these people my friends, they need to be dancing with us. So we ended up making a big section where they're dancing."
"He looked a lot like photos of me from when I was younger. So I was like he could be a representation of my youth. But he kind of holds his own character in the work now and it just adds a really nice innocence to the work."
In contrast to Harrison, he also has dance doyen Kilda Northcott joining them in the piece. She asked to be included after seeing a practice performance.
Beck admits when he first talked to his friends about taking part he was talking "low stakes", just four weekends to develop it in a hall in Portobello and then a small showing.
"They got really addicted to it, on going off on a really nice drive and then they really enjoyed dancing. And they improved a lot. And they could feel the improvement and they really loved it. They found it really fun."
But then it became a piece to be presented at the Dunedin Arts Festival.
"I think that's when they got a bit more scared. Especially when I told them we're in the Regent, on the main stage opening the festival. I think that's when, you could see their movement changed a bit. They got a bit more serious. And I still don't think they quite understand what it is to stand on that kind of stage . . . but they are super eager."
Beck performs in the piece as well, as he has continued his own dance career alongside the choreography.
"The project is very personal. It comes from a very lived experience, so it’s quite emotional by nature and I think that is why I was attracted to dance with it.
"You've got a lot of the memories and experiences you're drawing from. You have those people immediately beside you or with you.
"And it makes a really heartfelt kind of work."
Last year he was one of the core performers for the New Zealand Dance Company and also doing some side projects for independent dance works.
"But at the moment it's been pretty all-encompassing, it’s just choreography."
When he talked to the Otago Daily Times, his piece Modern God with Footnote New Zealand Dance was premiering that night. Beck had enjoyed working on both pieces at the same time.
"It’s very different, it’s very much an observation of my time spent on the internet . . . it’s very bizarre and chaotic. Maybe the Dunedin one seems minimalist in comparison to this one that’s definitely been defined as maximalist."
He has enjoyed the challenges of choreography, of learning how to get the most out of people and being involved in conceptual conversations around sound and set design and the practicalities of how to make it happen.
"I think I've really enjoyed my time as a dancer. But I am really attracted to the challenges of making work. It's just been a really rich experience."
But he is not ready to give up dancing yet.
"I do want to keep one foot in the door of performing. because I do love being on stage as well."
But dancing in one of your own works is "definitely not something I'd recommend", Beck says.
"In a way your attention is split. I have to go away and I have to watch the video. And it's really hard to get the feeling of a live performance through a recorded version of it. So you're largely driving the work off intuition and feeling."
Having a full-time rehearsal director and dramaturg had really helped with those challenges though.
Producing this work in Dunedin also meant Beck got to work with other Dunedin creatives such as lighting designer Martyn Roberts and bring on board sonic artist Hominid (Benny Jennings) whom he has worked with on previous productions.
"So we've developed a really, really nice way of working together."
Now based in Dunedin between jobs, he has initiated an emerging Dunedin-based dance collective Company Beck.
"I love being in Dunedin, but in terms of picking up work in the last minute or just being around to do extra things, it's definitely like Wellington and Auckland are a bit more vibrant to support where I'm at in my career and where I specialise."
While he was headed overseas, now he sees his immediate future in New Zealand.
"It does excite me to stay here and to try and make more projects happen and try projects. But at the same time New Zealand's quite insular, so it is important that you find opportunities to leave and do some upskilling and a bit of travel."
TO SEE
Dunedin Arts Festival, "Commentary of Dreaming", Regent Theatre, March 26, 7pm.
