David Loughrey's take on Christmas-time television.
Clothes were invented in 1376, I understand, for a very good reason.
It was not only the cold weather that prompted people to cover up, but the truly unfortunate state of the human body, and the terrible offence it caused to the discerning eye.
Certainly clothes are a nuisance, and at least one suicide note has given all this buttoning and unbuttoning as a reason for arranging the final curtain call on life.
Nevertheless, some people do insist on disrobing, and an unfortunate few insist on doing so in public.
Others, sadly, encourage them.
Such a situation occurred about 10 years ago, when 11 women from the Yorkshire Dales, members of the local Women's Institute, went bare for a calendar that became something of a hit.
Calendar Girls: 10 Years On (Living Channel, 10pm, December 25) revisits these women and their families as they make the mistake of again allowing the world to see how the ravages of time have cruelly distorted their late-middle-aged selves.
There are no longer 11, though, as the stresses of fame have split the group in two.
The original group, which sparked a storm of tributes in the form of many other less fortunate nude types stripping off for their own calendars, had a film made about their efforts, and a West End show.
Such was their money-making ability, they raised more than 1 million for leukemia research.
Calendar Girls: 10 Years On contains words like inspirational and should be viewed only by the sight-impaired.
It has not passed my notice that television companies seem to be very busy promoting their fare for December 24 and 25, a matter of which I am yet to get to the bottom of.
Whatever, the Extras Christmas Special (UKTV, December 24, 8.30) is well worth a repeat.
Ricky Gervais never fails to wring the comedic best out of the pretentiousness and the minor humiliations that are at the core of the best humour.
With a variety of star turns by the likes of George Michael and Hale and Pace, Extras is always excruciatingly excellent.
Watch it again.
Finally, and lets hope this will be the last we hear of it, there is Eastenders: Peggy's Wedding (UKTV, December 25, 7pm).
Peggy is apparently extremely nervous.
She doesn't like her outfit.
She knows Archie won't like it.
Someone might abduct a baby, someone else (not a horse) is at the end of their tether, someone angrily orders someone else to leave, there is something to do with a locket and a champagne glass, someone is not someone else's mother despite thinking they were, someone rushes to the tube station, and something shocking is about to happen!
Don't say you weren't warned.
