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The driving imperative of basic courtesy
You are driving.
Sleeping dogs
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Dire warnings about reaching 80 years
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Dire warnings about reaching 80 years
The only advice I’ve received about ageing came from my mother.
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Progress is driving me to Jesus this hour
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Progress is driving me to Jesus this hour
"That's an hour of my life I won’t get back," I thought.
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A visceral encounter with a local attercop
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A visceral encounter with a local attercop
What did spiders ever do to us?
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Powered into action as dreaded outage looms
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Powered into action as dreaded outage looms
Please read this quickly because that’s how I’m writing it, as the electricity is about to be cut off.
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The blues, the reds, the shoes and dogs
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The blues, the reds, the shoes and dogs
When I tell them I was Elvis’ nutritionist, some people refuse to believe me.
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War is over, happy apple season to all
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War is over, happy apple season to all
Writhe in envy, for I have apples.
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Posting about Pegasus and the dodo
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Posting about Pegasus and the dodo
"Well, if you really want to know — though I'm not sure it will lead to a productive conversation — I was posting a letter.
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Hooked by a moody waterfront photo
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Hooked by a moody waterfront photo
Poignant is the word, deriving from the Old French poindre, meaning to prick or stab.
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Paying the price for poetical demands
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Paying the price for poetical demands
Like you, I look forward to the arrival of every rates bill.
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A functional fix to stand the test of time
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A functional fix to stand the test of time
There's a lavatory — or rather, according to your personal euphemism-quotient preference, a toilet, W.C., cloakroom, bathroom, restroom, powder room — in my garage.
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Versifying and venturing to the shops
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Versifying and venturing to the shops
Upstairs, in the kitchen, on what the real estate industry would call a breakfast bar though I have never eaten breakfast there, stands a pad of Post-it notes, their colour pink.
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Deep waters and unexpected visitations
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Deep waters and unexpected visitations
In Wairarapa for a holiday.
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The frightening power of absolute authority
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The frightening power of absolute authority
"Tell me a story," I said.
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A chance encounter with Sudanese Post
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A chance encounter with Sudanese Post
This may be the first ever column about the Sudanese postal service of the early 1980s, but I doubt it’s the first ever column about the way a chance encounter can steer a life.
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Fear and loathing at the Bennett bird table
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Fear and loathing at the Bennett bird table
Fear and desire are the twin poles of the universe, the yin and yang of action, the push-me-pull-you forces of existence.
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To the pub, to the pub, to the pub pub pub
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To the pub, to the pub, to the pub pub pub
Repeat after me: the pub is a good thing.
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Shining the sun on origin of quotation
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Shining the sun on origin of quotation
My mother has no tombstone.
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Critical smarts from hitchhiker’s guide to dogs
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Critical smarts from hitchhiker’s guide to dogs
A sign on the gate said Beware of the Dog.
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Where the price of freedom is captivity
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Where the price of freedom is captivity
And they’re off.