I once had delusions of adequacy on the cricket field.
It's an opportune time to revisit the subject of chemical weapons, something avid readers will know I've had occasion to write about previously.
Two questions for today.
''And I can see, hear, smell, touch, taste And I've got one, two, three, four, five Senses working overtime Trying to take this all in''
I used to be quite good at maths. Way back in primary school, I could rattle off my times tables quicker than most of the kids in the class, and long division held no fears for me. Then came high school; instead of numbers, the textbook was suddenly full of the letters x, y and z, and because of this I rapidly found myself at the bottom end of the class.
A year ago this month, Steve Jobs, the chief executive of Apple, died from neuroendocrine cancer. There is no doubt he was a remarkable man who managed to pull the once-ailing company back from the abyss and turn it into the behemoth it is today.
"Cuddle a chemist and see the reaction." That's a little chemistry joke that has been around for longer than I have. For chemistry is all about chemical reactions. We mix two or more substances together (we call these reactants), and they react to give new substances called products.
Last month, I attempted to explain the meaning of pH in around 500 words. To my chagrin, I found that this was an impossible task. The column was littered with arcane terms like "hydronium ion" and "logarithm", and numbers like 0.0000001 and 1 x 107, things that do not make for easy reading. So let's take up where I left off and see if I can't do a better job in explaining what pH actually means.
Late last month, a soccer ball that had washed up on Middleton Island in the Gulf of Alaska was discovered by a technician at the radar station there. The ball was found to have come from a school in Japan, about 6000km away, which was struck by the tsunami of March 11, 2011.
Students encountering University of Otago Associate Prof Allan Blackman during one of his huge first-year chemistry lecture classes can expect plenty of enthusiasm, a dash of humour and even a few chocolate fish.
As I'm sure you know, the Otago Daily Times recently celebrated its 150th anniversary, and so in this, the final column of the year, it seems appropriate to look at what was happening in chemistry in the first year of its publication, 1861.
Some great scientific discoveries are the culmination of vast amounts of work carried out over long periods of time by many different people.
We often think of fraud as being the exclusive domain of the financial world - one only has to look at the number of finance companies that have gone bust recently - but it is not unique to this.
The summer of our discontent has made for a glorious winter. While the rest of the country seems to have been beset by winds, floods and even tornadoes, "winter" in Dunedin has been a succession of relatively warm, cloudless days, as evidenced by my kowhai flowering in early July.
The job descriptions for some professions require little explanation. It's pretty much self-evident that butchers are going to deal with dead animals, accountants are going to do something with money, and doctors are going to help you get better when you're sick.
Technological advances have often come at a cost to the environment. While the industrial revolution gave us mechanisation, it also heralded the start of steadily increasing levels of CO2 in the atmosphere.
Apparently there was some big wedding in London recently. I can't say I watched it. I was probably still too apoplectic over why Mr Pollock chose not to yellow-card a single Blues player earlier that evening. Or maybe I just didn't care a jot.
I was going to write about the chemical element boron this month because it has been in the news recently. Indeed, it has provided a most unlikely link between the New Zealand Parliament and the earthquake-and-tsunami-ravaged Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan.
This is a big year for anniversaries. As stated in last month's column, it is 100 years since Marie Curie was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry.
Happy 2011. And welcome to the International Year of Chemistry - a year-long celebration of the science that encompasses everything we can see, touch, taste and smell.