The grandson of New Zealand billionaire Graeme Hart says his battle with testicular cancer has inspired him "to live it up" and prepare for the unexpected.
"I am eager to give anything a go. If the cancer returns and I need to go back to hospital for nine weeks of chemo, I’d rather think of the awesome experiences I have had with friends and family," Hawkesby said.
Hawkesby, 18, is now cancer-free but mindful it could return.
He recently found a lump above his groin and was "struck with fear".
Luckily, a CT scan on his pelvis, chest and abdomen revealed there was no cancer, nor remnants of chemotherapy scarring.
Haweksby said getting cancer was a shock for him as a 17-year-old "swaggering" through life. He stayed stoic and never cried, but understands why people do.
"It’s not something you want to go through or wish on your worst enemy. Mentally there are always things nagging at me – ‘what if I was the exception and not going to make it?’ There is a chance the cancer could come back but I try not to think about it. When I do it’s usually in the early hours of the morning."
Last August, the teenager felt a lump on his left testicle but ignored it because he thought it was hormonal.
Testicular cancer occurs when abnormal cells develop in the testes. Usually only one testicle is affected, but sometimes both. Hawkesby has non-seminoma cells, which are tumours that usually occur in men in their teens and early 20s, develop quickly and spread to other parts of the body.
Within a week of his diagnosis, Hawkesby had his left testicle removed. Before surgery, he signed a release form to take his testicle – "lefty," aka "Goliath" – home.
"Dad and I thought it would be cool if we made a cast of my testicle to give to friends. I imagined saying, ‘Hey you’ve been my friend for a while and to show my appreciation, have my testicle’. Sadly, Goliath had been ‘sashimi-ed’ and was returned in a plastic jar. On the jar I wrote, ‘Goliath born March 22, 2005. Died January 27’. It’s in my bedroom beside my F*** Off gnome and the centrepiece on my mantel, so I can see it."
But despite the good humour, Hawkesby was concerned about losing his right testicle too.
"I think it would look weird and I’d feel like less of a man. I’d like to have children the natural way but if that’s not possible I have frozen sperm to rely on."
The teen, who loves rowing, cycling, and water sports, is an advocate for testicular cancer awareness and wants males of all ages – including Grandad Hart – to" fondle your jewels".
"Grab your testicle, move your thumb around it like a joystick or like you’re holding a game controller, then feel them up. If you feel anything other than a smooth sphere, get them checked immediately. Grandad Hart has never held a game controller in his life. I had to aggressively wriggle my thumbs around to show him how to do it."
Over the summer break, Hawkesby has been working at the family’s sheep farm as well as Grandad Hawkesby’s vineyard at Waiheke’s Church Bay.
When he returns to university, he will live with four friends in a flat with a pink letterbox known as "The Golf Club" – also known for its annual ball and student parties.
One thing Hawkesby learned this year was to stop doubting himself. He had chemotherapy the day before his last exam and doubted he would pass, but did. He battled cancer and survived.
"Challenges don’t undermine us but allow us to thrive. Even as half the man I used to be, I’ve met some lovely young ladies too."
Hawkesby attributed his resilience to his old school motto.
"Per angusta ad augusta; Through difficulties to greatness."
Testicular cancer in NZ
The most common cancer in men between 18 and 39
Of 175 men diagnosed, about eight die a year
Five-year survival rate is over 95 per cent
Non-seminoma cells usually occur in men in their teens and early 20s. They are faster developing and spread to other parts of the body
Seminoma cells usually occur in men aged 25-45 and men over 60. These tumours develop slowly and are usually confined to the testes and lymph nodes
