Southland battled to a 15-15 deadlock with Northland this afternoon in what neutral observers might describe, without a hint of hyperbole, as the worst NPC game in the history of the competition.
You name it, this fixture at a slippery Rugby Park had it.
Mistakes? Millions. Turnovers? Too many to count. Aimless kicking? You know it. Six penalties against just two tries? Naturally. A sense of ennui and wistful lamentation over the many possible better uses of a Sunday afternoon? Overwhelming.
At least there was some minor drama at the finish.
To the apparent shock of several hundred Southland fans who started streaming towards the exit gates after the whistle blew on 80 minutes of utterly forgettable rugby, there were 10 more minutes of futility to follow.
Golden point still feels uncomfortably gimmicky in this most working-class of rugby competitions, and both teams had the decency to match the pointlessness of the main show with a vague attempt to "win" when neither really deserved it.
There were a couple of magnificent Southland scrums in extra time before a dreadful spill from Northland winger Heremaia Murray under precisely zero pressure, back-to-back-to-back knock-ons when the Stags got on the attack, and a drop goal attempt from Greg Dyer that was, well, not the best.
Oddly, given it seems such an obvious way to bring this stage of the game to a finish, Dyer’s drop goal effort was the first from either side and it came with the extra 10 minutes basically up.
The Stags had seemed to have a morally gutsy if aesthetically ghastly win sewn up when a Dyer penalty, to go with four from Marty Banks, gave them a 15-10 lead, and they held that with just a couple of minutes to go in normal time.
Enter Murray, who showed quite spectacular acrobatic skills — yes, there was one exciting moment in the game — to score his second try in the corner.
Murray’s body was over the sidelines but in the air, and the television official gave the thumbs-up to his rubber-man grounding of the ball.
The only problem for the Taniwha was that made the conversion attempt extremely difficult, and Rivez Reihana duly missed to ensure there would be golden-point time.
Northland had completely dominated the first half hour of the game but fired more blanks than an Anzac Day parade, and Southland somehow led 9-3 at halftime despite having played virtually no rugby.
Murray’s first try was a nice gliding effort from a counter-attack in the 57th minute, but the Stags generally had the better of the second half.
No 8 Dylan Nel and blindside Blair Ryall were immense in the loose as Southland produced a lot of guts and commitment, while the old stager Banks showed some nice touches and Matt Whaanga provided plenty of energy.
Northland, under new coach and Otago great John Leslie, will feel they should have won the game but simply made too many mistakes.
Now they, like everyone who watched it, can forget about the game and quickly look ahead to the next.
NPC
The scores
Southland 15
Marty Banks 4 pen, Greg Dyer pen
Northland 15
Heremaia Murray 2 tries; Rivez Reihana con, pen
Halftime: Southland 9-3.
