Even in the Western individualistic societies of today most of us still yearn for community and togetherness. We need to belong to family, locality and nation.
Today, as we primarily honour the sacrifices of those who served with New Zealand's armed services, we also have the opportunity to revel in togetherness.
Whether we rise for dawn parades, attend services or take part in other official gatherings, or whether we simply reflect in our own time and space, Anzac Day should be about focusing on matters beyond our personal selfish wants, about what our fellow New Zealanders did and about us as a nation.
What happened at Gallipoli, catastrophe and all, has become the foundation for a national consciousness, for a national unity simply not possible on Waitangi Day. April 25 is our de facto national day; one very different in character from an American Thanksgiving or Independence or the many national days around the world where celebration underscores events.
As "we remember them", the tone of the remembrance is tinged with solemnity - and that is good. Nationhood is marked without spilling into jingoism or dangerous puffed-up nationalism. We are remembering death and disaster, sacrifice and service. We raise the flag in honour, not in triumph.
The tragedies of Pike River and Christchurch form an especially poignant backdrop this year, while also vividly illustrating our sense of unity and fraternity. We worried and grieved with the people of the West Coast, and we are shaken, hurt and bewildered by Christ- church's ongoing agonies. Dark times are being experienced by the families acutely missing their men around Greymouth, by the wider West Coast community and by cracked and battered Christchurch. Hopefully, there comes a period, too, in those places and those lives when the sun begins to rise and the rebuilding starts.
In the blackest moments, there must always be hope. The continuing outpouring of support for Christchurch vividly shows we are not islands to ourselves.
We New Zealanders are in it together, just as we were in wartime, just as we are on Anzac Day. It is appropriate, then, that the day this year falls during the Easter weekend. While most people might have missed out on the pleasure of the day as an additional public holiday this year, Easter can provide us with the chance to think more deeply. Easter is, after all, fundamentally about the death of Jesus and then, subsequently, new life.
It is about falling into the depths of despair before emerging with hope, a process that is experienced for both the religious and by non-believers. If Good Friday had been April 25, the conjunction would have been even more powerful. As it is, Anzac Day should look forward as well as honouring the past.
Those fighting for New Zealand, although at times misguided and misled - and even when motives were mixed - were in part about securing a better future for the nation as it was seen at the particular time.
As World War 2 recedes, the ranks of New Zealand's former servicemen and women thin rapidly. Those who fought in Malaya in the 1950s and Vietnam a decade later are beginning to die off as well. Fortunately, new generations have been taking up the baton with growing enthusiasm, as shown by numbers at Anzac Day commemorations.
It will be intriguing this year to see the response on a holiday weekend in the school holidays.
Whatever the turnout, Anzac Day should be properly respected by always being fully marked on April 25 and not being "Mondayised".
On this special day, it is important to remember - without being morbid about it - the horror of war and the death and misery it inflicts on individuals and their families - whether that be at Passchendaele, Crete or today in Afghanistan.
Each and every person killed is an individual as well as part of their family, their locality and their nation. And when they fight in the armed forces, they are representing us - they are part of the body of New Zealand.
