I shouldn't be mean about men, as they do have a smart side.
So I'm told, anyway.
The message my dear old Dad left on my cellphone on Monday told me not to worry my mother, but the reason he wasn't at home when she called him (we had been in Dunedin) was because he had had a tiny scrape with the lawnmower and was in Invercargill.
Really, just a tiny thing.
The message didn't ring true, and after speaking to the hospital and learning that he had had two operations on his hand and was being kept in overnight, it didn't sound quite so insignificant.
He's now sporting a gigantic white boxing glove sort of bandage and insisting that poking his finger into the private parts of his not-turned-off lawnmower was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
We haven't seen how short he has mown his finger yet, but it's taught us that he's probably not safe to be left unsupervised.
Anyway, the boxing glove bandage might help him defend himself if his angry wife and daughter attack him for his lack of common sense.
There's been a bit of good earthquake news about - I was very happy to hear that Jo Seagar says she is most definitely not dead, despite the rumours.
Her rare and lovely dance on John Martin's dining room table many years ago will most likely never be forgotten by those lucky enough to see it.
It has been a real treat seeing so many former residents in town this week, all taking a break in the Wakatipu and enjoying the long showers, flushing loos and unshaken sleeps we didn't know we were so lucky to have.
My 12-year-old nephew said that the earthquake meant he could go to Farm Jam in Winton, which was excellent news in his view.
I am wondering if he will be so delighted about the earthquake now that his parents have packed him off to boarding school in Dunedin instead of being a day pupil in Christchurch?
The big shake has changed so many people's lives - the real aftereffects of an earthquake aren't all geological.
Some of the change will be good, while a lot will just be change - no better or no worse.
Our carpet is never going to look or smell the same after some of my evacuees arrived with two quake-shaky dogs and three puppies, but the enormous relief I felt at being able to help made it worthwhile.
Children are suddenly at new schools; independent elderly people who insisted on living alone are now queuing to get into rest-homes; and empty houses and commercial buildings throughout the country are suddenly in demand.
Everyone's getting into the spirit of helping others - my daughter is sharing her bed with a girlfriend who has switched from Canterbury to Otago University but has no furniture or flat yet.
My kindest friend Bindy, who has now lost a house in both earthquakes, was at an old neighbour's house delivering scones to him as she was worried about him living alone and not eating properly. The images of the student army and the fantastic work they are doing in Christchurch make me prickle with pleasure.
Sarah-Kate Lynch summed it up beautifully on her website letting Christchurch people know they're not alone - we are all going to help.
Dolci de Love, which hits the bookstores next week, and then goes on to launch in Australia and the United States.
She's New Zealand's favourite columnist and is talking about her life and work all over the place.
If you harbour a dream of becoming one of us fancy-pants journalists who just swan around the world drinking champagne and meeting famous people, you'd love to hear SKL.
She's giving talks and signings at Dorothy Browns in Arrowtown, the Shed at Northburn and at Paper Plus in Wanaka - see www.sarah-katelynch.com for more details.
If you have friends in Christchurch who could do with a jolly good cheer-up hearing this very funny and fascinating author, you couldn't do better than buying them a $10 ticket. The proceeds are going to the Red Cross Earthquake Fund.
Dolci de Love is a pure delight.
If there's a better book to give someone whose life has been tipped upside down and who needs a bit of distraction and pleasure, I don't know what it is.
Set in ridiculously beautiful Tuscany, the story sees heart-broken, stressed-out, businesswoman Lily travelling to Italy to sort out her unfaithful husband.
A band of widowed darners intervenes and interferes, throwing a very charming Italian man - and an even more charming little Italian girl - in her path.
It's got a little bit of magic, a lot of romance, a lot of humour and the message we all need - we never know what each day will bring and, when things don't go according to plan, the unplanned bits can often be far better than we ever imagined.
I hope that all of you can enjoy some of the planned and unplanned events that life throws at you this week and, if things are looking grim, the best medicine is always a book.
Go to the library and pick up one of these magic cure-alls.
