Queenstown Times Bureau chief Tracey Roxburgh charts the ups and downs of training for the Lindauer Fitness and Fashion Challenge.
Saturday, June 12
- 4am: Wake to hear pouring rain. Dragon would tell me not to go out in that. Have to attempt to run 5km in six hours. Why is it when I have to run outside it rains? Decide not to wear stretchy pants to avoid wet trouser component.
- 8.30am: Rain, thankfully, has stopped. 9.30am: At Jack's Point with nine other lovely Lindauer Ladies. Am ready to walk 5km run. Lindauer Lady Jane Robertson declares - accurately - we have all gone mad.
- 10am: At start line. Only thing running are eyes, due to arctic wind.
- 10.05am: Race time. Preparing to walk, however, feel bad seeing everyone else preparing to run. Decide to give it a wee whirl and see how I go.
- 10.15am: Have run about 1.5km. See really, really nasty hill looming. Decide now is time to walk.
- 10.20am: At top of nasty hill. Cannot believe some people managed to run this.
- 10.30am: See another hideous hill looming and people running up it. Then see other people being turned away from it. Realise - with glee - 5km entrants get to bypass hill. Thank goodness for small mercies.
- 10.40-something: Cross finish line. Had small amount of gas left in tank, so contemplated little sprint (read: quick jog) to the end. However, runway to finish line like bog due to overnight rain. Would not be possible to regain any composure after a face plant in mud. Settle on shuffle which has been running style for the past 40 minutes.
- 10.55am: Jane Robertson likens 5km run to childbirth - excruciating at the time, but once is over you think "I could probably do that again". In the next breath Jane also likens it to gallstones.
- 7pm: Is Saturday night. Ten weeks ago at this time on a Saturday night I would have consumed one or three drinks by now. For the first time in my life I am at the gym on a Saturday night. Yep. I'm THAT tragic.
Sunday, June 13
- 8.45am: Mum always said Sundays were day of rest. When she was little her parents wouldn't even do washing on a Sunday. Mum wasn't even allowed to watch telly on a Sunday. Am thinking these thoughts with gritted teeth while at gym on treadmill with incline of 15 at start of Babelicious. Would be unbearable were it not for three kind friends who have come to the gym with me.
- 9.15am: Mid-burpee. Am having yet another rest. Realise am showing signs of becoming fit person. Have callouses on hands from weights.
- 9.20am: Babelicious finished. Time for breakfast ... and then back to gym for RPM. 10.05am: Legs hurt. Back hurts. And feel like I have broken clavicle (blame burpees). Have another hour of pain before I can enjoy feeling of piousness for the day.
- 4pm: Catwalk rehearsal. Begins with information from the lovely Steph Percy from Winter Festival. Feel nauseous. Again. Clammy hands are back and knees are shaking.
- 4.25pm: Practising catwalking. In front of mirrors. Conclude is nigh on impossible to look glamorous when wearing ugg boots.
Monday, June 14
- 6am: Day off. And yet I'm on the way to gym for pump.
- 6.10am: Meet friends at pump, both of whom came to gym with me yesterday. They are quite sore.
- 9.30am: Meet kind friend for 3km run. She has flash gadget which measures distance and split times and all sorts of other things I don't care about when I'm huffing and puffing.
- 9.35am: Begin shuffling along track. There has been no rain, so am wearing new pair of stretchy pants believing I won't have to contend with wet trouser component. Instead am contending with unexpected issue. The trousers falling down component. Every three steps have to yank them back up. Shouldn't complain, is good thing. Except they are brand new and now I can't return them.
- 9.40-something am: Trying to make me run faster, friend holds out flash gadget for me to try and grab. Reminds me of the bunny rabbit in a greyhound race. However, I am no no greyhound and do not care for catching bunny rabbits. However, finish in better time ... possibly due to mis-measurement of 3km the first time, which saw me shuffle a significant additional distance.
Tuesday, June 15
- 6pm: At gym about to take on Babelicious. Is my first time in busy gym at night time with musclemen and skinny minnies around me. Am very happy to have company of friends.
- 6.30pm: Am finished Babelicious in new record time. Did have to stop the clock once though. Thought I was going to either empty stomach contents or hit the deck during burpees. I despise burpees.
- 9pm: Flatmate (the Saint) made banana bread. Have not had banana bread in aeons. She says am allowed to have a piece as treat.
Wednesday, June 16
- 8.30am: Have training session with Richie Lambert in 30 minutes. However, am feeling really rather unwell this morning. Cancel session. Pack gym gear in car in hopes I will have perked up by home time and can visit gym tonight instead.
- 12.30pm: Have just been with the delightful Maree Cross at Decode for final fitting. Am well aware there are now 12 days until catwalk ... and there is still a rather unsightly (although diminishing) bulge visible.
- 2.55pm: Remember I have to book in for RPM in the morning.
- 4.45pm: Remembered I was supposed to book in for RPM. Say bad word in head. Ring gym on off chance there is a space.
- 4.46pm: There is a space. Am actually happy. What has happened to me?!
- 7pm: Compulsory cardio. Play with hills settings on machines. Decide to go "Around the World" on cross trainer and bike.
- 7.40pm: Can report Asia is deceptively hilly; South America deceptively flat; and Europe sucks. However, if you find yourself in Asia and are asked if you would prefer to bike or cross-train across it, choose bike. Only took eight minutes to traverse Asia by bike. And 12 on cross trainer.
- 8.30pm: At home and throat is sore ... I cannot be getting sick again.
Thursday, June 17
- 5.40am: I am getting sick. Again.
- 6.23am: At RPM and odd pain in knees is back, but only in one knee. Is making RPM quite difficult. And instructor Grant has worked out my name. Cue him picking on me.
- 7.30am: Sore throat, sore ears and sore knee. Am falling apart.
- Noon: Reporter Joanne Carroll tells me she read a study which stated running is bad for immune system. So am now blaming compulsory running for self-pitying state.
- 1.30pm: Please add bung sinuses to list of ailments.
- 3.21pm: Have had long meeting with our effervescent Australian editor. Made us work through lunch break. Am quite hungry now. Hear paper bags rustling and come to conclusion colleagues have collected late lunches. Ask Joanne what she is eating (is in bakery bag, so no doubt is delectable). She replies "chicken, brie and cranberry panini". Say bad words. See James Beech, also with paper bag. He announces is a chicken satay pie. In next breath he says also consumed sausage roll. Say more bad words. The bean salad I'm about to get pales in comparison.
- 3.57pm: No bean salad. Had chickpea salad instead. Tried to pretend it was pie or panini. Delicious smells almost gone. Until Henrietta Kjaer walks in with bakery panini. Try to go to happy place. Bad words on tip of tongue.
- 7.30pm: Kind friend arrives at house with whisky and lemons in hand to make me hot toddy.
- 8.30pm: Have consumed one hot toddy and have got the giggles.
- 9pm: Have now had one and a-half hot toddies and my legs have gone wobbly. Find it rather sad this is the closest I've been to being tipsy in more than two months and it's from hot toddies.
Friday, June 18
- 4am: Hot toddies did not make sickness go away. Am feeling terrible but am aware must be at gym in two hours. Get up and take painkillers. Consider staying up. Decide to "doze" instead.
- 6.03am: Receive text from Richie. He's running late. This is good as I am still in bed, dozing having turned into deep sleep. Move at speed of light to get to gym.
- 6.20am: Very late, but at gym. Decide to hop on cross trainer to warm up.
- 6.21am: Cross trainer bad idea. Knee not happy with this course of action. Go to bike instead.
- 6.31am: Still on bike, no sign of Richie. Decide maybe to just quietly do some cardio and then go back to bed.
- 7am: Richie finds me. Much confusion. He was waiting downstairs and did not know I was upstairs. Tells me "seeing you're here" might as well do weights. Feel to-o sorry for myself to argue.
- 8am: Am heading back to bed. Plan is to sleep for majority of day in hopes sickness will get bored and leave me. Have only 10 sleeps left until catwalk and only eight sleeps to achieve everything left on my plan of attack. Ten sleeps to catwalk ... oh dear.
