For 83-year-old Patricia Hailes, 2024 has been a year scarred by death.
Her son Matthew, 51, died of a drug and alcohol overdose in May. Then her son Milan, 50, died only three months later in a shock to the family.
Milan “died of a broken heart,” Hailes said, having gone into cardiac arrest after years of health issues caused by excessive drinking.
“They were very close. Probably best friends as there was only a year separating them.
“I want to bring some good out of their deaths. I hope to make something positive come out of it and help people,” she said.
Their deaths were heartbreaking for Hailes, her two daughters, and wife Gay.
“We’re getting through it together. Just one day at a time.
“I think selling these beers is a way for me to give it all some sort of meaning.”
The zero-alcohol beverages are a new edition to Pat’s 20 Cent Shop which she runs from the backyard of her home on Mathers Rd, Hoon Hay.
The shop has a range of donated books, clothes, shoes and paint sold at low prices.
Hailes hopes to encourage heavy drinkers to make the switch to drinking zero per cent beverages, starting with visitors to her shop.
She buys in bulk from retailers and sells bottles for $3 each, making a small profit.
“You can drink the whole bottle and still drive home, and no hangovers.”
The zero per cent alcohol business has small beginnings, selling about 100 bottles over the last month, but Hailes hopes to find a wholesaler willing to sell in bulk so she can expand.
Demand for zero alcohol beer is steadily rising and now makes up about four per cent of the retail beer market in New Zealand.
Hailes’ sons were unmarried and had no children and she hopes her new focus can add to their legacy.
“Alcohol is a terrible thing unless you can control it. I’m hoping to encourage others to give up the drink and maybe save lives.”
She came out as transgender in 2021, aged 79.
“I just feel joy and happiness being an old woman. I couldn’t get that before. I wasn’t being myself.”
Hailes was born ‘Barry’ in 1942. She grew up in a Catholic farming family in Whenuapai, West Auckland.
She is no stranger to retail and business. Most recently she owned 14 Charity Barns across the country, selling second-hand goods with the profits donated to various charities. The business was wound up after the Christchurch earthquakes.
Hailes also ran a wholesale company, Barry & Associates, throughout the 1960s and 1970s before becoming a property developer in Brisbane between 1980 and 1994.
Now her well-attended backyard shop serves the community by selling people books, toys and clothes for “next to nothing”.
Operating on an honesty box system, visitors pay 20 cents for each item they take while also being encouraged to donate what they can.
“We get people coming from all over – 20 cents for this stuff is pretty irresistible.”
In 2007 she led the Graffiti Busters as ‘General Baz’, co-ordinating a small group of volunteers who painted over tagging for free.
Hailes opened the backyard business in 2020 under her new name, Patricia, in 2021 shortly after coming out as transgender.
“When I got married, I was too scared to tell my wife. I thought she wouldn’t marry me otherwise.”
Two years into the marriage, Hailes confessed her preference for women’s clothing to Gay.
“She has grown to accept it more and more. We’re very much in love. I’m still me at the end of the day.”
Hailes thought marriage would “fix” his desire to be a woman, but the urge never went away.
It took 50 more years of secrecy before she told her children and started living openly as a woman.
“They just told me to do what I wanted. They couldn’t stop me.”
Growing up in a conservative, rural area, Hailes always felt the need to hide her feminine side and live a typical man’s life with a wife and children.
When she was six, she tried on her cousins’ dresses which “felt natural”.
“It’s only in the last 10 years maybe that things have got a lot better for transgender people. Not everyone is accepting, but most people are tolerant these days.”
Most of Hailes’ men’s clothing was donated to the shop as there “wasn’t much use for it”.
She has been a devout Catholic her whole life, attending church every day and visiting the nuns at Carmelite Monastery.
Hailes has been accepted by her church, even if some do not agree with transitioning for religious reasons.
“Nobody’s told me to piss off yet. Faith is meant to be about love so we all get along.”
Transitioning in old age is a very different experience than it is for young people, she said.
“I’m not a pretty thing and I don’t have to be concerned about looking beautiful. I see myself as an old woman.”
