Highlanders talisman Aaron Smith has revealed he is, befitting a man of his effervescent nature, buzzing with all sorts of emotions as he makes his farewell tour with his beloved club.
The halfback par excellence is bound for Japan at the end of the year and will bid farewell to the team that has helped define him as a rugby player for over a decade.
Small wonder he felt it when he made his first appearance of the season against the Chiefs a few days ago.
"I got the goosebumps when I rocked up to Hamilton thinking it might be my last time as a Highlander here," Smith said yesterday.
"I got a bit emotional, looking at the jersey on Friday night.
"Nothing is guaranteed. You never know — it could be the last time you wear that jersey.
"Everything will feel sad but special this year, and I’m really excited about putting my best foot forward with this team."
Smith highlighted the fact he was not necessarily waving goodbye to the Highlanders permanently.
"It’s see you soon, it’s not goodbye."
The Highlanders hero is staying relentlessly positive — and that attitude will be needed around the camp.
Everyone knew they had been handed a ghastly draw to start the Super Rugby Pacific season, but there is no pleasure to be gained from being dead last on the table with three straight losses, zero competition points and a painful points difference of minus-98.
"We’ve played three really good teams, and we’re learning lessons the hard way," Smith said.
"In the first game, we didn’t respect the ball, and the Blues pounced on those mistakes.
"Then against a really good Crusaders team, we played well for 25 minutes but they were able to get a bit of ascendancy.
"So we’re learning the hard way. But one positive from the Chiefs game is that the scoreline at halftime was tight, which was a big focus for us.
"We’ve had three weeks of lessons and pain. We’re bottom of the table, and it’s a place we don’t want to be, but that’s our current reality.
"Those three games have gone. We’re excited about what the next month holds for us, and we’re looking to climb the table, one game at a time."
A resurgence simply has to start with the Force — which has won two of its first three games — in Invercargill on Sunday.
The Highlanders are saying all the right things, including a big focus on looking after the ball.
Smith is also ensuring that, while he works as hard on his own game as ever, he does his bit to put his arm around a few wounded young shoulders.
"As a team, we try to be really open with what’s going on.
"I try to get around certain guys, especially guys who are playing and trying really hard, and just have little convos.
"But you’ve also got to get your own stuff right. I had a few bad kicks at the weekend and a few tackles that I missed, so it’s being willing to be vulnerable in reviews and say, hey, I got this wrong and it cost us badly.
"Rugby is a fast-moving machine. You’ve got to move on."
Smith enjoyed an unexpected full 80 minutes back in his first game in three months following an extended period of All Blacks leave.
He even had a cameo at first five near the end when Mitch Hunt and Freddie Burns were both off the field.
"Playing 10 was interesting. I was feeling a bit tired about the 70th minute. But I saw Hunty do his shoulder and I could see what was going to happen."
As a senior All Black, Smith is prepared for looming change when Ian Foster’s replacement is announced.
He has not specifically endorsed one camp over the other but he was understandably asked yesterday what former Highlanders coaches Jamie Joseph and Tony Brown would bring to the job if appointed.
"They’d just bring the same they do to every team they are with. Jamie’s a very strong leader, and Browny’s very innovative, and they have high expectations of the teams they put together.
"They pick certain players to play their type of rugby, and they do the same for any role they’ve been picked for.
"I think they are very innovative around how they look at the game. Jamie’s very tough getting his forwards to a place, and sets up an environment for that, and Browny is obviously famous for his innovation on attack."
