It started with a “little” back pain. Nothing that seemed out of the ordinary.
But what mum-of-two Alejandra Figueroa didn’t know was that little pain was in fact stage four bowel cancer lurking away unseen.
When the pain got worse over two months, Alejandra decided she should see a doctor who then referred her for tests.
When the results came back, she was asked to bring a support person along. The results, she was told, were “serious”.
Alejandra, who migrated from Chile 18 years ago, thought a support person was needed to help the doctor explain medical terms.
Her partner Daniel Grenville went along as the support person. Their children Emilia, 6, and Manu, 3, also went.
“So we went there with my little ones. The doctor told me that the cancer has spread all in my liver, and there were few chances and medical treatments,” she told The Star this week.
That life-changing meeting was in May.
At the meeting, she and Daniel explained to their children what was happening.
“It’s complicated because the doctor said this news to you, but you don’t know how to deal with it. You keep going on as if nothing happens because the next day is school and stuff,” she said.
A month later, Alejandra was told she needed chemotherapy. Her first session was scheduled for mid-July.
“I had beautiful long hair. So I wanted to get married while it was still long,” she laughed.
That was when Alejandra and Daniel decided to get married.
From the flowers and the music to the food, Alejandra said everything was well-prepared and that “it all felt like a dream”.
“Without all of the help from the community, it would have been difficult. You feel the support and that people care about you.”
A food roster was also set up after her first treatment, with families at the school contributing a small amount of money each week to pay for a food delivery service.
During this time, Daniel started to transition from a full-time builder to a full-time carer of the family.
He also enrolled in courses to learn about medication administration and how to take care of Alejandra.
“Dan manages all of my medicines and takes care of me during night-time. He is like my nurse. So if you want to know what medicines I need, you can ask him,” she said.
As Alejandra was getting better, her fortnightly treatment sessions were halted in December.
“I got more chemotherapy before the doctors told me that it doesn’t work anymore. You are on your own now,” she said.
In August, Alejandra was given three to six months to live.
Due to the unpredictable pain, she is unable to be with her children all the time, to pick them up or schedule things to do with them.
“I feel guilty plenty of times as a mother,” she said.
Daily tasks like putting on clothes or showering have also become a challenge for her.
Said Alejandra: “It’s hard to shower now with all of the tubes, or going to the swimming pool with kids.”
She recalled vomiting on the floor the other day after coming back from the cinema with her family.
“My pain went from two to 10. The nurse had to come in quick to put in the injection.”
Alejandra said the journey was emotional for the family, especially for Daniel.
“It’s like at one point, they told him that he is going to be alone with the kids forever now.”
The couple first met in 2010 in Auckland when Alejandra was staying at a bed and breakfast accommodation owned by Daniel’s mother.
“I think he likes me straightaway,” she laughed.
They started as good friends and quickly bonded over a love for cooking.
Said Alejandra: “The photos that we took when we first met were mainly food and recipes.
“Now, we are starting to get into cooking again. We like having different kinds of foods and cuisine, like we would try Irish food this time and then Austrian next time.”
“It’s very good because the kids get to spend the time with me and Dan, and then with my mom. They would go play with her and they would laugh all the time,” she said.
In spite of the challenges, Alejandra remains “hopeful” as there are some complementary options and medications that she has not tried.
“But these supplements are very expensive for me because we have kids and school,” she said. The price varies from $50 to $80 for each non-funded supplement.
A Givealittle page was set up by Daniel and a close friend of the family, Celia Hogan, last month with a target of $20,000.
The funds would go towards complementary medication, easing day-to-day financial pressure, and creating memories with Emilia and Manu.
So far, the family has received more than $5000 from the community.
Alejandra and Daniel said they have been ‘humbled’ by the support surrounding them.
“People bring us help all the time, like food every night so we don’t have to care about cooking. They also help us with the kids. It’s like the community worries about you,” she said.
- Support or donate to the family here.
