A former Kiwi soldier fighting in Ukraine says he's proud to see other New Zealanders on the front line - even though one of his countrymen has given his life for the cause.
The Defence Force said on 24 August 2022 that it had received reports a soldier, who was on unpaid leave, had been killed in Ukraine.
RNZ understands the man was soldier Dominic Abelen, who had been based at Burnham Military Camp and was killed while fighting in eastern Ukraine.
The Defence Force said he was on leave without pay while in the war-torn country and was not on active duty.
The former New Zealand soldier who spoke to RNZ said he did not know the man who was killed but spoke about the danger he had experienced on the front line.
"It's nerve-wracking every time you go out, it's the artillery, the artillery is the real thing.
"It's not really the Russian soldiers that we fear, we're confident we can beat any of them on any day," he said.
"It's their artillery that is unmatched. And it is ruthless. And it never stops."
He was initially training Ukrainian soldiers how to fight, but is now on the front line with a group of foreign fighters dubbed The Dark Angels.
Originally formed as a humanitarian group, the group of internationals changed tact when they realised there was more they could be doing.
"We fight in canals, around farmlands and with the vehicles dominating the high ground, we have to fight within the canals, which is the 'fatal funnel'.
"It is very dangerous and very nerve-wracking, you're sort of forced into areas where you can only move forward and back and there's no lateral movement ... it makes your heart race that's for sure.
"We've been close enough where we can hear them [the Russian Army] yelling, we can yell at them.
"We put up drones all the time over each other, and then we call an artillery on each other. It's close.
"It is incredibly dangerous within such a linear fighting space. But we haven't taken any casualties yet, so we're doing something right."
"We take a look at opportunities, potential missions, we all have our input, and we talk about how we can go about it, then we talk to the Ukrainian units.
"We go out might just go out to recon for a couple of days, see what we can see.
"If we find a target of opportunity, then we'll come back. We'll go back and we'll grab our javelins."
The man reflected on some of his hardest experiences in the war-torn country and said his first experience at the receiving end of a Russian armoured vehicle got his blood racing.
"Because it's so sporadic and so random, you never know where it's going to land, and so you just sort of hit the dirt and hope for the best.
"It gets quite nerve-wracking hearing the whirring of a drone, because you know as soon as it locks onto you, as soon as it finds your position, and nine times out of 10, it does, you know what comes next."
He said there had been plenty of near misses, most recently in Mykolayiv when the Russians dropped a calibre missile on their building.
"It missed by a few metres and fortunately that saved the lives of everyone inside."
The Dark Angel said he was only supposed to be in Ukraine for a couple of weeks, but it had now been more than five months.
He started training volunteers and then moved to teaching the regular military in Kyiv but said seeing the constant suffering of Ukrainians pushed him to the front line.
The man now says he would not return until the war was over.
"I can't see myself doing anything else right now, other than helping these people for as long as I possibly can, so I'll stay here until we win.
"I believe we will win, otherwise there is no point."
Soldier reflects on New Zealander's death
The former solider said the man who was killed fighting in the East of Ukraine was one of only two New Zealanders he had heard about.
He did not know him but said he understood the desire to show up and fight for the people of Ukraine.
"I would have loved to have met some of these other Kiwis out here, but it's just good to know there are still Kiwis who want to be here.
"Because like myself, and like so many others from around the world, we just can't sit idly by and just watch the suffering on TV."
He said it did not matter what they did, whether it was humanitarian aid or scrapping on the front line.
"What matters is that people have stood up and so makes me proud to see other Kiwis that have come here, even though obviously some of them have had to give their lives for the cause."
Former Defence Minister Ron Mark told RNZ he was supporting the family of the man who was killed, but he would not comment further on the circumstances of his death.
