He and Kathy tied the knot six weeks later, ushering in years of “blissful” marriage. But now the couple are caught in the “long goodbye”.
Mrs Bradley was diagnosed with dementia about nine years ago. It was a twist in their decades-long love story, but Mr Bradley’s love did not falter.
“They called it a ‘long goodbye’. There was a lot of crying, but the love is pretty strong between us,” he said.
“We’re madly in love with each other.”
Mr Bradley, of Avondale, remembered the life the pair led before the dementia diagnosis.
The accomplished clarinet player would often play around the world, including Australia, Singapore and Hong Kong.
“She [Mrs Bradley] never missed a gig in 26 years, and I played at hundreds of gigs,” he said.
“Wherever she was, I played a special number for her, which was an original and became her tune.”
It started to get tough for the pair when everyday tasks, such as putting on clothes, going to the bathroom and cooking, became a challenge for Mrs Bradley.
Mr Bradley admitted it had not been an easy journey. His own health suffered as the couple faced their greatest challenge.
“It was getting me down at some points, it was very hard on me and I ended up having a nervous breakdown.”
“I’ve just gone through 12 weeks of sheer hell living by myself,” he said.
“I had no other support as all of my family have passed, aside from my niece who visited occasionally.”
Mr Bradley knew he would not be alone in his experience of lockdown or in the challenge of caring for a seriously ill partner.
So he has started a club for the partners of people with dementia, Parkinson's and other serious illnesses.
It was a struggle to find a group in Christchurch where he could connect emotionally with others who related to his position, he said.
There is a chance his club was a first for the city, he said.
Everyone had their own story of coping and loss.
“One lady I spoke to was devastated and said she just sits at home and cries.
“A lot of people are in the same situation.”
Mr Bradley said the club will be “a place to grab a tea or coffee and meet others, see what they’ve gone through and how they’re facing it”.
He hopes to grow the club beyond Christchurch to places such as Auckland, Wellington and Dunedin, and create a support network across New Zealand.
- Nib’s Lost Partners Club will host its first meeting on July 7 at the Sydenham Lounge, Cashmere Club, from 10.30am. Phone Jeff on 03 388 5903 for more information.
