The Highlanders’ crystal ball is looking a bit murky.
Good luck making an accurate prediction of where this team will finish after the regular season.
They could win two or even three more games, absolutely. They could also lose all five they have left and become the first Highlanders side to finish rock bottom since 1997. Yikes.
Let’s look at how the rest of the Super Rugby campaign might play out for the Highlanders, while keeping a rolling tally (based on wild guesswork) of the points table.
v MOANA PASIFIKA
Tonga, Saturday
Highlanders: They beat Moana Pasifika relatively comfortably back in round one. But this week is a real unknown. Do the Highlanders have some confidence after beating the Force to arrest their five-game losing streak? Or are they still a bit shell-shocked after taking part in the worst game in Super Rugby history? And what will playing in the Nuku’alofa heat mean for everyone? I am willing to believe the Highlanders can win.
Other games: Hurricanes beat Waratahs, Blues over Rebels, Crusaders over Reds, Chiefs over Force, Brumbies over Drua.
Points table: Hurricanes 42, Blues 40, Brumbies 36, Chiefs 33, Rebels 25, Reds 24, Highlanders 19, Drua 17, Crusaders 16, Moana Pasifika 15, Waratahs 12, Force 10.
v CRUSADERS
Dunedin, May 11
Highlanders: Ugh. Remember those glorious times when the Crusaders were bottom of the table? Bliss. But the Evil Empire is regaining some strength and mojo. The Highlanders will NEVER start as favourites in this clash. It’s a loss, I’m afraid.
Other games: Chiefs over Moana Pasifika, Reds over Rebels, Blues over Hurricanes, Brumbies over Waratahs, Force over Drua.
Points table: Blues 44, Hurricanes 43, Brumbies 40, Chiefs 38, Reds 28, Rebels 26, Highlanders 20, Crusaders 20, Drua 17, Force 15, Moana Pasifika 15, Waratahs 13.
v BLUES
Auckland, May 18
Highlanders: This will likely be an unhappy 21st — as in, 21 straight losses to New Zealand teams. Oof.
Other games: Hurricanes over Moana Pasifika, Rebels over Chiefs, Drua over Reds, Brumbies over Crusaders, Waratahs over Force.
Points table: Blues 49, Hurricanes 48, Brumbies 44, Chiefs 39, Rebels 30, Reds 28, Drua 22, Crusaders 21, Highlanders 20, Waratahs 17, Force 16, Moana Pasifika 15.
v FIJIAN DRUA
Dunedin, May 26
Highlanders: If this game was in Lautoka, it would be Drua all the way. But they just do not travel well. The Highlanders to win their final home game, I reckon.
Other games: Hurricanes over Chiefs, Brumbies over Rebels, Moana Pasifika over Waratahs, Crusaders over Blues, Reds over Force.
Points table: Hurricanes 52, Blues 50, Brumbies 49, Chiefs 40, Reds 33, Rebels 30, Crusaders 25, Highlanders 24, Drua 22, Moana Pasifika 19, Waratahs 18, Force 16.
v HURRICANES
Wellington, June 1
Highlanders: Look, there is hope. But the Highlanders are just not good enough right now, and the Hurricanes will be motivated to win to seal top qualifying position. Should be a comfortable Canes win.
Other games: Crusaders over Moana Pasifika, Reds over Waratahs, Drua over Rebels, Blues over Chiefs, Brumbies over Force.
Final points table: Hurricanes 57, Blues 54, Brumbies 54, Chiefs 41, Reds 37, Rebels 30, Crusaders 30, Drua 27, Highlanders 24, Moana Pasifika 19, Waratahs 19, Force 16.
PLAYOFFS
As you can see, my calculations (which will be laughably inaccurate) have the Highlanders missing the playoffs, even if they can beat Moana Pasifika and the Drua. Let’s see.
Quarterfinals: Hurricanes over Drua, Blues over Crusaders, Brumbies over Rebels, Chiefs over Reds.
Semifinals: Hurricanes over Chiefs, Blues over Brumbies.
Final: Blues 32, Hurricanes 30.
