The elephant in the room
Believe me, there has been a lot going on over the summer or what was purported to be summer! Hodgy (Nigel Hodge), the mainstay of the West Taieri club and chairman of the metro committee before being unceremoniously sacked by his club, is BACK. He’s joined the enemy, the Taieri Eels, as manager of their prems — more on them shortly. So we have to talk about it — the demise of Pirates, gone after 135 years in prem rugby. This is nothing short of an unmitigated disaster for club rugby in this town.
I hear a few myopic individuals are praying they’ll have more players at their club — sorry, just won’t happen. Apart from Southern, which has picked up the club’s three big names — Sasagi, Millar and Josh Clark — and for big money, I hear on the grapevine. Super Coach (Tim Belcher) had been flashing the cash!It creates an unneeded bye, the town will ultimately have fewer players in the game and how long before we are at eight? Then we’ll be Southland — God forbid! So what has happened?
Well, bottom line, Pirates is the architect of its own demise. The two most important people in any club are the prem coach and prem colts coach. They do the majority of the recruiting. Pirates, over the past four or five years, has struggled to name these coaches by February of any given year and, in some years, club guys have stepped up because there was nobody else. These key positions have to be filled by October the previous year so they can get on with the unenviable job of recruiting. It hasn’t happened at Pirates for five years, so this day was coming. Don’t blame Suitcase (Dave) Callon or new coach Allan Lindsay — they’ve tried to fix the problem. The horse has bolted, taken the door, the fence and the last bale of hay! The five years of inactivity in recruitment has killed the club.
Where to from here? The club is trying to put a prem 2 and a colts side alongside its strong women’s team — let’s hope it achieves that. Can it make a comeback to prems? It can — the Eels did it. But does it have the will and the resolve? I hope so. Time will tell.
The Nostradamus hour
I’ll review the teams in the order I predict they will finish.
Southern: Had a big pack before so adding the two heavyweights in the front row plus Josh Clark will make it gargantuan and possibly unstoppable. I know the ORFU has no say on where players should go but really it should have in this case! The club looks a bit weaker out wide but, with Barry Stevens back coaching, it looks formidable and probably the winner.
Varsity: Blew it big time last year. It looks strong all over the park and should be in the final and if it is at full strength the result with Southern could easily be reversed. Fletcher Smith as a Highlander could hurt it, along with Dillon Hunt.
Kaikorai: Has lost a truckload of talent in Spence, Ensor, Grant and Allan. Tight forwards don’t look strong but plenty of depth in the loose and out wide. Solid coaching group so should sneak into the four.Taieri: It has the dream team coaching it, the super coaches are gone. Yards Young is in charge and he has big Adam Whaanga from South Otago and principal David Hunter helping out, plus Hodgy!
They look unstoppable and with Kippy and Soak Davidson joint club captains, the dream continues. The team looks thin up front and, to be fair, out wide but it beat Southern in pre-season and the dream team will paper over the cracks and it also will squeak into the four.
Dunedin: Will probably just miss but it overachieved last year. Talisman Will Henry is gone, plus Scotty Eade (he’s disappeared after missing those kicks for Otago!) The pack is still formidable and it has picked up a couple of Auckland boys in Witana and Palu out wide and they are tidy. Oh, and I forgot Ruru from Pirates — he’s arrived but chequeless, I assure you. It will get close.
Harbour: It is running only 2.5 teams so depth will be an issue, really! Big Hale is really only coaching under sufferance as there was nobody else. Abramovich couldn’t afford Super Coach III Marty Hurring. Talented across the park but not quite as good as last year and it couldn’t make the final then. Depth will kill it.
Alhambra-Union: It looks stronger as some of its colts players filter through. Beat up the Sharks in pre-season so it’ll surprise a few. Still looks vulnerable up front — could have done with a Manson or a Sasagi. Looks good out wide and if Vili Koroi (NZ 7s) turns up, look out — this kid is good. Up one place on last year.
Green Island: No Geldenhuys. Its player of the year, top try-scorer, life member and possible patron is gone! But the enforcer, Pete Mirrielees, has arrived from Harbour to add some cement. I can’t believe he’s left the Hawks after 3 million games. I hear his wife thought the boys were being mean to him down there. Jackson Hemopo could define its season on his availability from the Landers. I see mercurial first five-eighth Ben Patston from the Magpies has joined the club — well, he’ll add some weight! Eighth at best but you never know. Knock over Dunedin on Saturday and go from there! I’m sure these guys beat Dunedin last year.
Zingari: Rumour was Big Andy Melville (the coach) was gone but good to see the club has lured him back. Hold the phone — Dunedin’s most expensive player, Eli Tonga, has joined the the side. Has the Abramovich wallet been stitched up? Throw in Jack Wolfreys from Varsity and the pack looks big and strong. The backs look thin, however, so ninth could be its lot. But if Chris Bell makes double-digit tackles for the year, it could finish higher.
So there it is but I’ve been wrong before! Good luck and congrats to all those who have made prem squads this year.
The Picking CompIt’s back this year bigger than ever and Snowy from Speight’s is putting up the big prize, so make sure you enter! There is an ad in the liftout somewhere; find it and enter.
Thanks to all our sponsors who are back with us this year which keeps us afloat — just! Speight’s, ORFU, Speight’s Alehouse, Mitchells Tavern, RD Petroleum and, new this year, Leith Liquorland Andy Bay under the auspices of Chris Hart (Harty). There is quite a liquid feel to the sponsors! Speaking of Harty, I’m thinking of starting a new segment called Harty’s highlights but more next week because I’m running out of space. He was described recently as a "Junior Donald Trump."
This weekend
Before I get on to this, remember we are backing up on Wednesday, March 29, with another round of Prem Rugby, starting at 6pm. I’ll be surprised if we get all teams through to next weekend without a default. I think this draw of three games in a week is sheer lunacy but I digress. I want to go up against all the captains of the prem sides over the next few weeks so lads email me your details asap. Up against the host with the most, Dunedin’s answer to Burl Ives, Mark Scully, this weekend so we start with an easy win. Kaik (13+) should be too strong for Zingers at Bastion Point. Varsity (12-) should be able to get to the Eelpit and surface with a win over the Eels — just. The Sharks (12-) should get home over the Spannerheads at the Beach and win back some silverware but you never know. The Magpies (12-) take on their distant relations the Hawks at Guppyfish Park and will get up late.
The Late Mail
Johnathon Ruru could be gone for the season with an ACL issue with his knee, so Dunedin and Otago could be the big losers.