Arrowtown book buyer Miranda Spary continues her regular column about her recommendations for a good read and life as she sees it.
Thanks to all those readers who informed me that what the beautiful backpackers are doing on the waterfront is "slacklining" not "tightrope walking".
Whatever it's called, it looks really fun and is very funny to watch.
I just can't believe that I have seen those trees there all my life and never once thought of tying a rope (tight or slack) between them and walking along.
All the newcomers to Queenstown bring their ideas here and make our lives more interesting - thanks, visitors!
There seem to have been a huge number of French visitors lately. At the Millbrook yoga class last week, four French ladies turned up.
Our teacher, Greg Dorn, was totally unfazed and manfully turned the yoga class into a French lesson.
Instead of just the French students being confused, we were all giggling hopelessly trying to remember which was the "jambe droite" and how to make our "ventre fort".
I was a little concerned about the instructions for "inspiration" and "expiration" but it didn't matter and we all had a lovely time.
I think I have told you before that research has proven that men don't buy books written by women.
Women are so much luckier - they get to choose from twice as many authors.
Male authors don't often write love stories, but when they do, they do it brilliantly.
I'm thinking of Shakespeare, Hardy, Sebastian Faulks, Ian McEwan and my latest love - David Nicholls. His One Day is heavenly.
Emma Morely is a prickly, snippety young woman and Dexter Mayhew is a rather arrogant, spoilt, very handsome young man.
The story takes place over 20 years always on July 15, St Swithin's Day.
The beauty of reading how men view love is getting their strange angle on it.
David Nicholl is so good at seeing how snappy and mean the things women say to men sound.
I had never really thought about it from a man's point of view.
No wonder they are a little fearful of us.
And I loved reading his description of Emma's morning-after regret when she had got drunk and called Dexter's sweet and gentle father a fascist in an argument about Nicaragua - "her romantic hopes sacrificed for the Sandinistas who were unlikely to be grateful".
This is witty and wonderful writing and there are lots of good hints on how to wreck a relationship.
Perfect reading for the festive season, really.
Alcohol plays quite a big part in this book (especially with regard to relationship wrecking) and I did love the following poem from a very well-known Mexican columnist, Armando Fuentes Aguirre.
It's in translation so not quite as lovely but probably very good advice for this time of year:
"Drink without getting drunk,
"Love without suffering jealousy,
"Eat without overindulging,
"Never argue,
"And once in a while, with great discretion, misbehave."
Can't wait for the last bit as I fail on all the other lines.
As I write this, the rain is pouring down and making my raspberries soggy, my chickens grumpy and keeping my drier going at full speed.
But it's very good for keeping me inside and finally getting the inside jobs done.
Obviously, everyone else is inside on their computer as well, as I have already had complaints about the booklist - the many, many omissions are causing you concern.
I could probably write a list that long every week and still miss some goodies.
Anyway, I am delighted that you react so strongly and that you are all reading so many great books.
Have a wonderful day and remember that an hour's escape with an excellent book is the perfect antidote to a bossy mother-in-law, a brood of screaming children and the headaches caused by thinking of new ways of saying thank you for simply hideous presents.
All these problems will vanish and you will be newly filled with the Christmas spirit, able to tackle the most challenging of relatives, meals and presents with a cheerful and positive attitude. I promise.
• I want to make an apology to Mary Stamers-Smith and the University of the Third Age.
If anyone was offended by my comments last week, it was not my intention, nor the intention of the Queenstown Times, to cause offence.
It is never my intention to hurt or offend anyone.
In fact, I am reliably informed that my column is known as "Gush Weekly", as I am always celebrating the great and good things the people of the Wakatipu do for the whole community.
Mary and her U3A are right at the top of that list and I hope most people read my column and understood I wrote it only to praise Mary and the work she does in organising stimulating speakers to come along and help keep us all being lifelong learners.
Thank you, Mary. I know your efforts bring enormous pleasure and knowledge to a large number of people.
