Heaven knows I’m miserable now
Cronulla Sharks
The Sharks have never been a sexy side — even when the heart-throb Andrew "ET" Ettingshausen was carving up in the midfield.
The Sharks joined the New South Wales Rugby League in 1967 and have been perennial placegetters ever since.
Victory was almost theirs in 1978 with an 11-11 draw against the Manly Sea Eagles in the grand final, but they lost the replay a week later with five players out to injury or suspension.
They also fell short in the 1988 final against Balmain after winning the minor premiership.
Will Sunday be the day?
Who knows, but Sharks fans won’t be holding their breath just yet based on past experiences.
Western Bulldogs
Footscray Football Club came into being in 1877.
The good news is it hasn’t been THAT long since it won a title.
Try 62 years instead.
After joining the Victorian Football League (latterly the Australian Football League) in 1925, a banner came the way of the warriors of inner-western Melbourne in 1954.
But other than a grand final appearance in 1961, that’s been it.
Since being rebranded the Western Bulldogs in 1996, the side had five top-four finishes in 20 years and nine years of being 10th or worse in the competition.
The Bulldogs are the team you can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for.
Even former Sydney Swans forward Ryan Fitzgerald is thinking about supporting the plucky Bulldogs this Saturday, despite his allegiance to the Swans.
Chicago Cubs
Do you remember what you were doing in 1908?
Me neither.
Nor will Cubs fans, as none of them will be old enough to clearly remember the scenes when the Chicago Cubs last won the World Series.
Some say the Curse Of The Billy Goat is still intact from 1945 after a spectator, Billy Sianis, was asked to leave the seats he was sharing with his billy goat, while hopes were high in 2003 until spectator Steve Bartman caught a foul ball which Cubs outfielder Moises Alou had a chance to catch to send the Cubs to the World Series.
The Cubs have the best record in major league baseball this season — could this be their year?
Arizona Cardinals
Not even moving cities has been enough to bring Super Bowl success to the Cardinals.
Yes, the franchise won two titles (1925 and 1947) when based in Chicago — although the 1925 title was only handed to them after the unbeaten Pottsville Maroons were suspended for playing an exhibition game — but since moving to St Louis in 1960, then Phoenix in 1988, the closest the "Cards" have been is a 27-23 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII in February 2009.
Maybe it’s time to bring back Cuba Gooding jun (obscure Jerry Maguire reference).
Queens Park Rangers
You know when a League Cup is the leading honour for an English football club, it’s struggling for genuine titles to hang its hat on.
That’s the case with the west London club Queens Park Rangers. Formed in 1886 after a merger, QPR has climbed up and down the divisions over the years, but never really nudged the great heights.
The 1967 League Cup win over West Bromwich Albion (admittedly a great effort as QPR was in the third division at the time) has never been bested.
The closest moments to subsequent all-conquering glory was a draw then a loss in the replay of the 1982 FA Cup final and finishing as runners-up in the 1975-76 first division (formerly the top grade).
South Africa cricket
It’s not fair to call the Proteas the bridesmaids of international cricket because that would be underselling their failures massively.
South Africa’s national team is more like the bitter great-aunt, who has worn the same horrid black dress and moody jewellery to every family wedding and wonders why no-one asks her to dance during the slow songs.
Reappearing from isolation in time for the 1992 Cricket World Cup, South Africa’s woes were most recently highlighted when Grant Elliot dispatched Dale Steyn for six in the World Cup semifinal last year, but the most famous example was the run-out of Allan Donald when the scores were tied against Australia in the 1999 World Cup semifinal.
Everything’s not lost
Cleveland Cavaliers
The makers of the documentary Believeland must have known something was around the corner.
After 50-plus years of the city of Cleveland suffering a drought of titles in any of the major American sports, LeBron James led the Cavs to a 4-3 series victory over the Golden State Warriors in this year’s NBA Finals.
You can imagine the producers of the documentary, which was released in May this year, would have been thrilled to bits to then go back to the editing suite six weeks later to create a brand new — and oh so glorious — ending.
Boston Red Sox
The Curse of the Bambino hung over the city of Boston and Fenway Park, the home of the Boston Red Sox, for 86 years.
But finally, the curse supposedly brought on by selling the legendary Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees in 1918 was lifted when the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series.
Since then, the 2007 and 2013 World Series titles have come the way of the Red Sox.
Leicester City FC
The sustained excellence of the Foxes throughout the 2015-16 English Premier League season was rewarded with the club’s first top-flight title since it came into being as Leicester Fosse FC in 1884.
The Foxes reached the FA Cup final once in 1949 and three times in the 1960s, but their league win last season is proof that the battlers can rise up when "conditions are perfect", as the Flight Of The Conchords would say.
Otago rugby
This story has been told plenty of times in these pages since skipper Paul Grant lifted the Log O’ Wood at Waikato Stadium on August 23, 2013 after 56 years of awful Ranfurly Shield-related pain.
But it’s proof that even the most painful of droughts can be ended.
It’s unlikely Cronulla and the Western Bulldogs are looking to Dunedin for inspiration this weekend, but they could do worse.
